Profile for phil lawton:
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- a member for 17 years, 2 months and 5 days
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» Strict Parents
.
For some reasons known only to themselves, my parents frowned upon every one of my hobbies.
Granted, necrophilia and a keen interest in rubber fetishism were a little little unusual for a ten year old lad, but there was no "grey area" with them...shagging one barely warm corpse whilst wearing a day-glo green wet-suit made me some sort of monster in their eyes.
(Thu 8th Mar 2007, 15:08, More)
.
For some reasons known only to themselves, my parents frowned upon every one of my hobbies.
Granted, necrophilia and a keen interest in rubber fetishism were a little little unusual for a ten year old lad, but there was no "grey area" with them...shagging one barely warm corpse whilst wearing a day-glo green wet-suit made me some sort of monster in their eyes.
(Thu 8th Mar 2007, 15:08, More)
» Childhood Ambitions
Career
I made it in the career I always wanted, i.e. to be a pagan, 4th century Belgian deity. However, pursuant to the annual meeting of the Church of England synod in 1973, it was agreed upon that although the basis for my being was fully understood and recognised, I didn't actually exist.
Bastards. They could have decided before I'd repainted the entrance hall of the clubhouse.
(Thu 29th Mar 2007, 12:16, More)
Career
I made it in the career I always wanted, i.e. to be a pagan, 4th century Belgian deity. However, pursuant to the annual meeting of the Church of England synod in 1973, it was agreed upon that although the basis for my being was fully understood and recognised, I didn't actually exist.
Bastards. They could have decided before I'd repainted the entrance hall of the clubhouse.
(Thu 29th Mar 2007, 12:16, More)
» Picky Eaters
Picky eaters
I once worked with a bloke who was so obsessed with hygiene that he peeled doughnuts. "You never know where they've been," he told me.
What a blinkin' twit.
(Mon 5th Mar 2007, 11:23, More)
Picky eaters
I once worked with a bloke who was so obsessed with hygiene that he peeled doughnuts. "You never know where they've been," he told me.
What a blinkin' twit.
(Mon 5th Mar 2007, 11:23, More)
» Cross Dressing
Disgusting
They should gas these dirty bastards at birth and impale their heads on spikes as a warning to all others who might follow.
Hang on...this is the "What's the best thing to do with Pikeys?" thread, isn't it?
(Tue 20th Mar 2007, 14:41, More)
Disgusting
They should gas these dirty bastards at birth and impale their heads on spikes as a warning to all others who might follow.
Hang on...this is the "What's the best thing to do with Pikeys?" thread, isn't it?
(Tue 20th Mar 2007, 14:41, More)
» Picky Eaters
Balut et al
In the same vein (ha!) is a stunning sounding little treat in the freezer section of my local Chinese supermarket - pig's uterus (stocked right next to a product alluringly packaged as "Pig's Fat End"...what the Christing bollocks that is, I have no idea).
Apparently, pig's uterus should be boiled and then served unaccompanied apart from a bowl of soy sauce to dip it into.
(Wed 7th Mar 2007, 12:09, More)
Balut et al
In the same vein (ha!) is a stunning sounding little treat in the freezer section of my local Chinese supermarket - pig's uterus (stocked right next to a product alluringly packaged as "Pig's Fat End"...what the Christing bollocks that is, I have no idea).
Apparently, pig's uterus should be boiled and then served unaccompanied apart from a bowl of soy sauce to dip it into.
(Wed 7th Mar 2007, 12:09, More)