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» What's the most horrific thing you've seen?

Wish I was this patient...
Walking down the street merrily one day and I notice a huge lump of steaming dog shit. Naturally I was taken back a bit by this site but walked on and continued with my childhood exploits.

A day or so later I am walking past the place again and notice that someone has gone through the effort of using the dog shit to draw a huge penis on the pavement complete with cum spurting detail.

Click "I Like This" to see a pic of the shit laced cock yourself.
(Fri 22nd Jun 2007, 17:11, More)

» Karma

Karma At The Drive-In
For my second ever QOTW attempt I thought I'd start with this true story of triumph and despair. Appoligies as it is a biggy but I've been told it's mildly amusing at the very least.

Quite a while back, a group of us decided to head to Nantgarw (not important if you have no idea where it is) to watch a film with their girlfriends. Many others tagged along for the hell of it (I was one of them third wheels). It was an average day, nice burgers, crappy film (John Tucker Must Die, horrendous), but I digress.

Once the film was over everyone was going to walk back to the station. It being around 9 o'clock and with me and my good friend Kyle needing to get home, we took off ahead of time.

Problem, when we got to the path leading to the station we realised how dark it actually was, and being as it was surrounded by trees and various other woodland, it was a rather scary site, but being the courageous gentlemen we were we trudged onward.

The sounds of crickets made for a very uncomfortable setting, and as we continued their journey, Kyle stopped and said "I think there's a guy up there." Filling our pants we tip-toed up praying that the guy wasn't a smack addict (it's quite a rough area). Kyle put up his fists and I, ever so heroically, hooked onto his jacket hood and prayed it would soon be over. We walked up to face our old wooden gate.

We finally made it to the train station and checked the times and find that there was no trains running to our destination! We ran to the timetables to double check, and shat ourselves when we found out that the tracks were undergoing repairs, luckily for us however, there was going to be a bus in Ponty (only two stops away), ready to take us home. We quickly jumped on the next train and headed to Ponty, they were worried for the others so texted them to check on them to find.......

They ALL had lifts home!

This pissed us off bigtime as no one had offered them a lift before we left, but we shook it off and continued reading some newspaper they found on the train (there's always one isn't there?) until we reached Ponty. We got off and ran as fast as we could to buses would be arriving for another 2 hours! We frantically scrambled for enough money for a taxi. Luckily the driver said we could pay him when Kyle got to his stop so everything was fine.

That is until the taxi ride, the driver kept asking us questions (do you like metal? do I know your uncle? etc.) and made several really bad jokes repeatedly nudging Kyle (my last name is Green, he made a gag about saying his was Red).

By now we were shitting ourselves once again and thinking that he was a total lunatic (justified). He even stopped off at his house to give Kyle a bunch of VHS tapes featuring "Metal" bands with such hardcore metalists as Tori Amois. Luckily Kyle got to the stop and paid him, then ran inside. I however was stuck with the guy for another 10 minutes! I did the smart thing and just asked the driver to drop me off by Kyle's where I walked home the rest of the way.

On top of all that, while gloating that I had gotten away with sneaking to the cinema and staying there as late as I did, I posted this story on another site. For whatever reason my mother typed my name into the Google search engine and found the story herself.

Ah childhood...

* Appoligies for any sudden point of view changes in the story as I am adapting it from it's original write-up.
(Sun 24th Feb 2008, 4:06, More)

» Personal Hygiene

Can't beat those crazy cats!
First post, woooooo!

Anyway onto the QOTW, I am a young 'un currently as it were and have a mate, who we shall call Craig, who reeks of cat food no matter what he is wearing. For months me and the boys wondered how the hell it was possible but eventually we went up his house and found out why.

He has three cats who constantly roam about the place, maulting their fur wherever (it doesn't get washed up) and basically laying where they wished without any complaints (such as on the ironing board, in the clothes basket, on the kitchen worktop, etc.)

However the creme de la creme of it all was when he had his food. He put his plate down for a couple of seconds and left to go to the kitchen (yes they eat, watch tv, iron and use the pc in the SAME room!) for whatever reason. At this point one of his cats jumped up onto the chair where he left his meal and began to tuck in, making a bit of a mess and leaving some hair before jumping off. He returned and we watched in shock as he ate the entire meal (cat hair included) and even complimented his mother on how nice it was.

Kinda going off topic there a bit sorry, but had to make my first QOTW special.

Oh and length? [Insert joke here]
(Sat 24th Mar 2007, 0:43, More)

» When Animals Attack

I have always been absolutely terrified of these beats. They're huge, smelly and go on "oh-my-fucking-god-get-out-of-the-way!" rampages for no particular reason.

I really don't understand the love some have for them. My ex took this love to a whole new level and even coached the handicapped (children, not horses) on how to ride nature's motorbike. One time, while demonstrating, the horse she was riding went totally apeshit for no reason other than it's a horse. She was almost paralysed as the horse rammed her full force into a metal fence...yet she still works with them to this very day and blames the incident on herself.

Now if it was me I'd have crept into its stable in the dark of night, snuck up behind it while it was in the wonderful land of nod and...

BAM! Baseball bat to the back of the head!*

*This incident may or may not have been attempted.
(Sat 26th Apr 2008, 13:34, More)