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» I'm going to Hell...

You know when windows go all icy in winter...
...and you can't control the urge to draw a massive cock and balls on them?

The local infant school bus pulled up at my bus stop this morning.
Their teacher was NOT impressed...
(Fri 12th Dec 2008, 18:27, More)

» Rubbish Towns

I live in a shit town near Basildon. The claim to fame of said town is being home to that vile Paris Hilton lookalike, Chantelle Houghton, who was in Celebrity Big Brother despite not being a celebrity.

We've been home to a few BB contestants now, come to think of it.

The town was also in the news a couple years ago after a kid at the local school got stabbed with a football post. Lovely stuff.
(Sat 31st Oct 2009, 15:59, More)

» Bullshit and Bullshitters

There was a guy at school I would've hated if it weren't for the fact his lies were so fantastic that it was worth putting up with him being a dick just to hear some of the bullshit he came out with.

One of his finest moments was the day of the 7/7 bombs he claimed his brother had "had his ear blown off at Aldgate, then walked outside just as the bus blew up and some shrapnel cut his arm clean off". Never mind that the two places are at least two miles apart. And the next day his one-armed brother was driving him to a gig in Liverpool. First-class cunt.
(Sat 15th Jan 2011, 1:45, More)