» Celebrities part II

Hmmm Miss Jones

Back in the mid nineties, I hit the grand old age of 21.
As tradition would have it, an all day drinking session was called for and so after many hours of severe alcohol abuse, I found myself in a bar near the Leeds City Varieties (theatre/music hall).

I'm guessing Frances de la Tour (of Rising Damp fame) was starring at the previously mentioned theatre, as at the other end of the bar she stood. Enjoying a quiet post performance drink, with a sophisticated group of theatre types and hangers on.

I on the other hand was having a not so quiet drink with very much unsophisticated group of reprobates!

"Hmmm Miss Jones" says I, in a truly terrible Rigsby impression.
More Rigsby lines followed as I walked towards her, I somehow convinced myself that she would be amused by this.

Reports from friends convey that at some stage in the 20 or so feet that I walked between us, I managed to change my impression (confusingly) in to Fletcher from porridge - I'm guessing I was confused about Richard Beckinsale appearing in both shows.

Eventually my impression/stager made its way to Ruth.
I took a final step, repeated "Miss Jones", tripped, fell forwards, landing face first in her cleavage.

I snuggled in their warm embrace for a mere second but it felt far, far longer.

"Well really" she exclaimed in a rather posh voice.

I staggered back, grinning like a mong. Stumbled again and knocked myself out on a bar stool.

Never even got to ask for an autograph.

**POP**
(Fri 9th Oct 2009, 0:11, More)