b3ta.com user user_names_suck
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Cornish gal, laid back, enjoying life.

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» Happy 10th Birthday B3ta

Revenge Pranks.
Quite a few years ago now I had a falling out with a very nasty, evil bitch. I couldn't be arsed to go into all out drama with her, so I decided to get back to her in a sneaky way. A way that wouldn't really hurt anyone, just be an annoyance, and make me feel better for a few hours.

Just little things. Sending pizzas to her house. Posting her phone number on FaceParty under the profile "Fat Slag" with some very unflattering pictures of her (may or may not still exsist) and comments to the effect that anyone who called would be treated to the finest vocal filth of a fat ugly slag. Worked quite well too, until she eventually changed her number and I didn't have the new one.

I was bored at a job I hated one afternoon so I Googled "Revenge Pranks" for ideas to carry on the, quite honestly, giggle-worthy dumb pranks. One of the hits on Google directed me to a QOTW archive titled Revenge Pranks or similar. I was hooked.

Lurked for a very long time. I fell pregnant, on purpose, no slags here I'm afraid, and I knew I would be leaving this godawful soul destroying job, never to return, so I spent the next 6 months reading back issues of QOTW instead of doing anything productive.

I did eventually join up, mostly so I could "like" the posts that made me giggle, and I have posted a few times, but some of you guys can be quite scary and I'm always terrified of reading any replies in case somebody decides to have a go. I'm quite a sensitive soul, and I'm really just here for the giggles, not the drama.

So here I am, daughter has just started preschool, and I still get a little flutter of excitement, as I did about 10 minutes ago, when my brain realises it's Thursday again.

So thanks for the giggles, and the shocks, and being there during the long sleepless nights with a wide awake baby, and for the many many officelols that almost got me into so much trouble. I got quite adept at turning an officelol into a cough, or a "Oh, just remembering something funny that happened last night" to cover my tracks.
Please be gentle, I'm quite scared of some of you, and I'm back to lurking again :)

EDIT: Just remembered the username was Fat Lass, but a quick search of The Googleâ„¢ is coming up with nothing. It was bloody awesome too.
(Thu 15th Sep 2011, 22:19, More)

» Vandalism

Very childish. I apologise before I start.
In between my town and the next town along, there is an area undergoing regeneration. The area is called Pool. As you come off the dual carridgeway into Pool, there is a huge white billboard that states POOL IS THE FUTURE. They're getting a Travel Lodge and everything.
Driving though here quite a while ago now, somebody had removed the L from Pool, leaving the sign reading, in huge black letters on a huge white billboard, for all the visiting tourist to see "POO IS THE FUTURE"
If you then turn right towards my town, the area is called Tuckingmill, and somebody had put an extra horizontal line on the T, making the sign read Fuckingmill.
Imagine if you will, the hoards and hoards of tourists we get all year round, and especially in the summer (Cornwall you see, full of em) coming into town to see a huge sign reading POO IS THE FUTURE, followed immediately by one saying FUCKINGMILL.
I know it's crap, I know it's childish, but I loved those signs. They have been normal for quite a while now. I'm too chicken to vandalise them myself, but it may be time to offer the local scumbag chavs a bottle of cider to re-do the signs.
(Thu 7th Oct 2010, 23:53, More)

» Breasts

Magiceyes post below just reminded me....
It was my best friends hen night, just over 2 years ago. Her soon to be sister in law had arranged a hen night that consisted of aunties and grannies in the local drinking sherry. She was devestated. With a week to go until the weddding I decided that a proper hen night shall be had!

I had so little time to make arrangements, so I invited all our girlfriends over to hers, made lots of silly yet fun drinking type games, with the odd truth or dare thrown in for good measure.
Food was several pounds worth of Tesco's finest snacks. And I spent the day making rude cakes.

I made boobies out of muffins, flesh coloured icing and halved glace cherries, which, frankly looked like a child had made them. But the penis cakes! Masterpieces. They were 2 muffind, with an upright swiss roll, liquorice laces for pubes, veins, and icing sugar mixed with water for, well, you know!

Now as it was a hen night, we'd sent the menfolk out to the pub. Things got little drunk and raucus at our party and the food was duly forgotton.

Until several extremely drunk and hungry men came home, spotted the cakes, and for some unfathomable reason, that they still can't explain to this day, began to devour the penis cakes! Not a breast was touched, or nibbled!

We had a great laugh at their expense, but come on guys, can you shed any light on this? 12 very drunk men, deciding against the breast cakes, in favor of the penis cakes.........
(Sat 8th May 2010, 0:22, More)

» Prejudice

I'm a cornish gal born and bred
And Emmet Season is almost upon us.......
Wearing their "Newquay Lifeguard" hoodies, tossers.
Burnt red raw as they have no idea what that big yellow thing in the sky can do to their skin.
Making their poor kiddies play on the beach in the pissing down rain because "we're on holiday"
Blocking all our car parks, lucky WE know where the secret, cool, LOCALS beaches are. What's left of them anyway.
Jamming up our roads (A30 on a bank holiday Friday anyone?)
The list goes on and on.
The only redeeming feature they have is bringing their lovely cash into our beautiful country. BUT......
Please stop falling in love with my county and buying up second homes here, you're pushing house prices through the roof. I rent, I won't be able to own my own house until at least 3 close family members have died.
I really think we need passport and immigration control at the Tamar........

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emmet_(Cornish)

However, if almost a week has gone by and this is all I can think of that bothers me, then yeah, good ol' west country laid-back-ness rules! Just don't be such a tosser when you visit ok?
(Thu 8th Apr 2010, 0:37, More)

» Books

Oh for fuck sake.

(Thu 5th Jan 2012, 15:01, More)
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