Profile for me like pie:
I'm a boring git who cant be stuffed writing.
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- a member for 21 years, 3 months and 5 days
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I'm a boring git who cant be stuffed writing.
Recent front page messages:
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» When animals attack...
I'm a mean spirited bastard.
Aged 3 (My parents told me this), I was walking near a swan-infested pond with a bag of chips. One of the bastards walked up and bit me on the arm in the hope of making me drop my chips. I like chips, so I placed them carefully on the ground, grabbed the swan around the neck and punched it until my parents stopped laughing and came to the animals aid. No-one touches my chips...
(Sun 5th Jun 2005, 6:44, More)
I'm a mean spirited bastard.
Aged 3 (My parents told me this), I was walking near a swan-infested pond with a bag of chips. One of the bastards walked up and bit me on the arm in the hope of making me drop my chips. I like chips, so I placed them carefully on the ground, grabbed the swan around the neck and punched it until my parents stopped laughing and came to the animals aid. No-one touches my chips...
(Sun 5th Jun 2005, 6:44, More)
» When animals attack...
Piss Break II
Driving home one sunny summer's day, I felt the call of nature. The road I was on has plenty of thick bushes for cover, so I decided to relieve myself there. I walked a couple metres into the scrub, bushing spider-web out of the way, opened up and let nature take its course.
A few minutes down the road, an incrediblty sharp stinging, burning sensation tore through my old fella; the shock causing me to brake hard and skid off the road, narrowly avoiding all sorts of vehicles. Panic mad, I tryed to open my jeans to remove the fucking spider and inspect the damage, but my jeans proved too difficult to navigate sitting down. In desparation, I jumped out of the car, pulled my jeans and undies to capture the son of a bitch. It was then that I spotted the group of well-meaning people who pulled over when I skidded off the road...
Long story short, the spider turned out to be non-lethal, I am yet to receive any court summons for indescent exposure and the spider suffered a slow and lingering death.
(Sat 4th Jun 2005, 4:10, More)
Piss Break II
Driving home one sunny summer's day, I felt the call of nature. The road I was on has plenty of thick bushes for cover, so I decided to relieve myself there. I walked a couple metres into the scrub, bushing spider-web out of the way, opened up and let nature take its course.
A few minutes down the road, an incrediblty sharp stinging, burning sensation tore through my old fella; the shock causing me to brake hard and skid off the road, narrowly avoiding all sorts of vehicles. Panic mad, I tryed to open my jeans to remove the fucking spider and inspect the damage, but my jeans proved too difficult to navigate sitting down. In desparation, I jumped out of the car, pulled my jeans and undies to capture the son of a bitch. It was then that I spotted the group of well-meaning people who pulled over when I skidded off the road...
Long story short, the spider turned out to be non-lethal, I am yet to receive any court summons for indescent exposure and the spider suffered a slow and lingering death.
(Sat 4th Jun 2005, 4:10, More)