» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

A woman hears her husband is in hospital and rushes to A&E. The doctor, who is Italian, says: "I'm-a sorry. It-a seems-a your ahsband is-a turning into a tree."
She asks, "Oh my God, is he getting any better?"
Says the doctor: "No! He's-a sick-a more!"

(I swear it's funny out loud.)
(Wed 9th May 2018, 13:46, More)

» The Meaning Of Giff

Caxton Gibbet
The little remaining charge on a phone with depleted battery.

"Can I use your phone? I'm down to my caxton gibbet."
(Wed 9th May 2018, 14:34, More)

» The Meaning Of Giff

Ely
adj. Of a Facebook friend you barely know, aged 20 to 30 years above you, who writes mildly disconcerting comments on pictures of your friends.
(Wed 9th May 2018, 14:18, More)

» The Meaning Of Giff

Chatteris
Ringing in the ears caused by incessant late-night notifications from a WhatsApp group you're only half interested in.
(Wed 9th May 2018, 14:16, More)