I have no idea which is which

(Mon 17th Aug 2009, 21:13, More)

Quite brilliant, Lord Vader! The style is bound to catch on


Edit: :)
(Mon 23rd Apr 2007, 12:38, More)

» Pathological Liars

Oh, I just remembered this
Where I work is full of learned academics, some of whome have more letters after their name than i've got in my first and last name together. They have scientific meetings where they discuss conservation and related scientific matters. Apparently, one of the fellows is a bit worse for wear in the sanity department, but tolerated on account of being harmless and the money he gives. He once famously stood up at a scientific meeting and announced his friend was breeding a pheonix.

Priceless
(Thu 29th Nov 2007, 16:45, More)

» Eccentrics

Kitten Cowboy
This just occurred to me as ever so slightly eccentric: Where I live (East Finchley) there's a bloke who goes around wearing a broad rimmed cowboy hat. Slightly odd, but fair enough.

I while ago I happened to get off the same tube train as him and was walking behind him, where I noticed he had a picture of a kitten stuck to the back of this cowboy hat. I thought this so strikingly strange I actually piped up the courage to ask him why he had a picture of a kitten on the back of his cowboy hat.

"To ward off muggers," was his reply.

I think I was so startled by the sincerity of his tone I actually nodded and said something stupid like "Why of course."

Must be a b3tard I reckon
(Fri 31st Oct 2008, 13:46, More)

» Ignorance

We get asked lots of truly ridiculous stuff at the zoo
At least twice a year someone will contact us to enquire if it's true the lions weren't fed meat during the second world war. Well, obviously it's not true; without meat, they would die; meat is essential in a lion's diet. I've been told this originates from something in the Bible about lions and lambs sharing the field at the end of times, or something. The rationing did have some affect on their diet though, part of their diet came from Battersea Dogs Home.

We've been asked this so many times over the years we have a template email we reply with now.

Of the less face palm variety of ignorance, and actually quite nice revealing this to people, is Winnie the Pooh was actually a real bear we had at the zoo who was so tame and friendly people could quite safely play with her. We have a photo of her and Christopher Robin Milne together in the library, and also her animal record, which records her arrival and departure.

People who didn't know this usually have such a lovely reaction when I tell them, it's actually quite touching :)
(Thu 30th Aug 2012, 20:11, More)

» Eccentrics

Well, I will dust this off for another airing, for it is apt
Where I work is full of learned academics, some of whome have more letters after their name than i've got in my first and last name together. They have scientific meetings where they discuss conservation and related scientific matters. Apparently, one of the fellows is a bit worse for wear in the sanity department, but tolerated on account of being harmless and the money he gives. He once famously stood up at a scientific meeting and announced his friend was breeding a pheonix.

Priceless

Update: They actually revoked his status as a fellow not so long ago, I wonder why ;)
(Fri 31st Oct 2008, 11:50, More)

» Pathological Liars

I just read this on another website, make your own mind up:
A friend of a friend's parents, brother ... maybe sister (I wasn't paying much attention at this part of the story ) ... well, it's kinda irrelevant really. A guy and girl living together in their own house a few weeks ago had to take their pet snake to the vet. Now my friend knows this, because he use to go to the house a lot. The snake was treated more like a dog, I guess, than a snake. It would slither around the house by itself and curl up on the bed at night. It was friendly and this guy never minded the snake even though this is a really big snake. The couple had it for over a year and never had problems.
Anyway, back to the story. The guy and girl took the snake to the vet because it hadn't been eating for quiet a while and they were getting worried. The vet checked out the snake, ran some test and found nothing wrong - so in the end he just told them to bring it back if it hadn't started eating within a week.
The week goes by and the pair are back with the snake still not eating. Again, the vet runs his tests with no clear answer. So he asks them if there's been anything different, if anything had changed? The guy responds with nothing had changed except it had stopped eating.
The lady said the same, then added that a while ago she'd woken up during the night and noticed that the snake was lying perfectly straight, parallel with the bed and in between herself and the guy.
The vet looked at them with a stark face and simply said, We've got to put down your snake.
What? They replied obviously shocked.
We've got to put the snake down.
Why?
You don't want to know.
Why!?
Really, you don't want to know.
The bloke at that stage got a bit pissed off and raised his voice wanting to know why he wanted to kill his pet snake of over a year.
Finally the vet responds - because it was sizing you up. It was going to eat you.


(Thu 29th Nov 2007, 16:36, More)