Profile for monkeyinasuit:
These are a few of my favourite things:
Pirates
Monkeys in clothes drinking tea
Toast
Branston Pickle
Bears that dance on hot plates
Mullets
Biscuits
Elastic Bands
Recent front page messages:
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Best answers to questions:
- a member for 21 years, 2 months and 9 days
- has posted 194 messages on the main board
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- has posted 4 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 0 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 8 qotw answers.
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These are a few of my favourite things:
Pirates
Monkeys in clothes drinking tea
Toast
Branston Pickle
Bears that dance on hot plates
Mullets
Biscuits
Elastic Bands
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Mini Cabs From Hell
I've had two suspicious illegal cab rides in london
#1 The first was a cab on Upper Street. I got in about 1-2am and was reasonably merry. After a few minutes i realised that the car had no wing mirrors or rear window. There was also a large crack in the windshield.
This made me rather nervous, but being drunk I thought it was my duty to ask how this damage occured. He said quite calmly that his wife caught him in bed with another woman, and promptly took to the car with a baseball bat.
#2 About 4am I was leaving a club in London and needed to get back to Winsor. This would have cost £80+ in a black cab. 'Luckily' we found a 'cabbie' that would take us for £20, too good to be true. We set off at great speed (in his Renault 5) we all fell asleep. I woke with us on the motorway with the car veering from lane to lane. I asked him what was wrong and as i did he pulled onto the hard sholder. He had run out of petrol.
I got a mate to come and pick us up, although he couldnt find us anywhere on the M40. Turns out the guy had also been driving us towards Wales rather than Winsor on the M4. Great.
(Thu 27th May 2004, 9:10, More)
I've had two suspicious illegal cab rides in london
#1 The first was a cab on Upper Street. I got in about 1-2am and was reasonably merry. After a few minutes i realised that the car had no wing mirrors or rear window. There was also a large crack in the windshield.
This made me rather nervous, but being drunk I thought it was my duty to ask how this damage occured. He said quite calmly that his wife caught him in bed with another woman, and promptly took to the car with a baseball bat.
#2 About 4am I was leaving a club in London and needed to get back to Winsor. This would have cost £80+ in a black cab. 'Luckily' we found a 'cabbie' that would take us for £20, too good to be true. We set off at great speed (in his Renault 5) we all fell asleep. I woke with us on the motorway with the car veering from lane to lane. I asked him what was wrong and as i did he pulled onto the hard sholder. He had run out of petrol.
I got a mate to come and pick us up, although he couldnt find us anywhere on the M40. Turns out the guy had also been driving us towards Wales rather than Winsor on the M4. Great.
(Thu 27th May 2004, 9:10, More)
» Booze Related Disasters
About 2 years
ago I was round at a mates house drunk as a skunk, I stood on a wine glass and shattered it. Instead of putting it in the bin I hid it under a cushion on a sofa. Next a gatecrasher at the party sat down rather quickly on the seat, getting a rather sharp piece of glass up his arse (and I mean up his arse). The unpopular gatecrasher then had to walk 20mins to the local hospital to get the glass removed and have 4 stitches. He doesnt know it was me, but everyone was glad he left. He had to stand in tutorials for the next 2 weeks
(Fri 19th Mar 2004, 11:53, More)
About 2 years
ago I was round at a mates house drunk as a skunk, I stood on a wine glass and shattered it. Instead of putting it in the bin I hid it under a cushion on a sofa. Next a gatecrasher at the party sat down rather quickly on the seat, getting a rather sharp piece of glass up his arse (and I mean up his arse). The unpopular gatecrasher then had to walk 20mins to the local hospital to get the glass removed and have 4 stitches. He doesnt know it was me, but everyone was glad he left. He had to stand in tutorials for the next 2 weeks
(Fri 19th Mar 2004, 11:53, More)
» Shit Stories
Yet another university caper
I was out on the lash with one of my mates, we were pretty drunk, my mate needed a shit but all the toilets were shut and we were a distance from the pub. He nipped behind the bush squatted and had a shit. About five minutes later we sat down in the pub. As soon as my mate sat down he stood up again straight away. In squatting he had managed to shit into his trousers round his ankles. He left looking rather akward.
EDIT: its amazing how all these stories are about someone else
(Thu 6th May 2004, 13:12, More)
Yet another university caper
I was out on the lash with one of my mates, we were pretty drunk, my mate needed a shit but all the toilets were shut and we were a distance from the pub. He nipped behind the bush squatted and had a shit. About five minutes later we sat down in the pub. As soon as my mate sat down he stood up again straight away. In squatting he had managed to shit into his trousers round his ankles. He left looking rather akward.
EDIT: its amazing how all these stories are about someone else
(Thu 6th May 2004, 13:12, More)