NEWSLETTER: "WHAT DO TITANIC AND SIXTH SENSE HAVE IN COMMON? ICY DEAD PEOPLE"
This Week:
* TRAINS - Simulated, at last
* FLASH - Dead, dead dead :(
* KUNT - Now a top-ten artist
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________ ____ __ ___
____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're replacing the web
___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | with a small sausage
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_| called Terry"
B3ta electric e-mail 757 - 08 Jan 2021
Read this issue after inhaling helium:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue757
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING
Other than farting the national anthem
>> Music headline quiz <<
Monkeon writes "I have a new quiz / nostalgia
generator. Rare for me in that it works using
actual live data, rather than having to spend
ages hand picking the questions. Via it, I
discovered that on the day Diana died, the
People's first edition had giant picture of
Noel Gallagher's arse as their main photo
story, with 'Di hurt and Dodi dead in smash'
as a small secondary item. I will never forget
where I was the day Noel mooned a pap."
https://monkeon.co.uk/guessthepress/
>> Goodbye to Flash <<
So Flash has finally died and no longer plays
in the browser. Watch Jonti "Badger Badger
Badger" Picking sing goodbye. BTW: Flash died
for us in 2010, as that was about the last
time anyone paid us to make anything with it
and then grumbled that it didn't work on
iPhones. Steve Jobs, you fucked it lad!
https://www.youtube.com/watch
BTW: If you're really missing Flash then the
Internet Archive is your friend:
https://archive.org/details/softwarelibrary_flash
>> Kunt is now a top 10 artist <<
We were proud to help* Kunt reach no 5 in the
charts with his festive ditty "Boris Johnson
is a f**king c**t" - a statement you can get
behind wherever you fall in the Brexit debate
that's fucked our country for the last 5
years. (Hey we bunged out tweets, Facebook
posts and stuck it on the B3ta front page - we
helped a little bit.)
http://borisjohnson.info/
>> To all those who died in 2020 <<
Dr Dunno AKA Chris Barker has done his
traditional murdering of the celebs and
dropping their faces into the 5th best Beatles
LP. Hopefully 2021 will be a bumper year no
more deaths - fingers crossed. Oh shit, we
spoke too soon.
https://twitter.com/hashtag/sgtpepper2020
>> Waterloo & City Line train simulator <<
Ed Jefferson has made a nerdy train sim. We
enjoyed making people wait for trains. Small
bits of shitbaggery are always fun.
https://edjefferson.com/waterlooandcity/
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This newsletter likes to pretend that Marylebone
station is named after Simon Le Bon's sister. No
one is amused by this but we persist.
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: FESSHOLE
Your confessions, fessed up for cheap shares
Every day we listen to your confessions about
your tawdry lives and tweet out the ones that
make us giggle or gawp.
* WORK - "To fill a gap in my CV I've said
that I was a guitarist for The Fall for a
brief period. No-one has disputed this or even
asked questions about it."
* HAIR - "Just had a verbal warning for saying
a lads haircut makes him look like Princess
Diana. It's shit being a teacher."
* LIFE - "Marriage teaches you a lot. Before I
got married, I didn't know you could put milk
in the fridge the wrong way."
Now over 101,000 people follow Fesshole which
means it's officially bigger than Jesus. Link
goes to the best of November so share that if
you can be arsed.
https://twitter.com/fesshole/status/13403946402944...
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9 million people die of starvation every year
and Harry Potter does nothing. The absolute
cunt.
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: SITES IN BEEF
The delicious OXO taste of others' content
* LEGO BRICKHEADS - Currently addicted to the
Brick Experiment Channel which is stuffed with
unlikely Lego whimsy like building a Lego
press with 70KG of force, and this one about
building a car to climb obstacles. Honestly we
struggled to stop ourselves going straight on
eBay about buying a load of old Technic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch
* SILENCE OF THE JAMS - Some of The KLF's back
catalogue has appeared on YouTube and Spotify
for streaming and honestly it feels good to
say "Alexa, play The KLF"
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbsEHtpoQxyWVibIP...
* FUCKED UP AI HOMERS - The 'This X Does Not
Exist' format has now reached the piss take
stage.
https://thisfuckeduphomerdoesnotexist.com
* CLASSIC ART FILMS REMADE IN THE STYLE OF
ATARI COMBAT - we suspect the audience is
pretty limited, but we liked that they're film
geek choices rather than anything obvious.
https://pippinbarr.github.io/combat-at-the-movies/
* BREAD PLASTIC CLIP DATABASE - detailed
classification of plastic clips used to close
bread bags. At fucking last.
http://horg.com/horg/
* INTERNET ART EXPERIMENT, REMEMBERED -
Reddit's collaborative drawing experiment, The
Place, happened nearly 4 years ago. This map
explains all the different elements of it and
their meaning - fascinating, not least because
you rarely get internet culture archived and
annotated like this.
https://draemm.li/various/place-atlas/
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PROJECT IDEA. A hypothesis for someone who likes
data analysis to test: is there a correlation
between sticking stuff about football in your
profile and posting "didn't happen" to tweets?
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: BUY SOME BRITISH MADE JEANS
Yes you, you scruffy oik
Hebtro are ok in our book as they support our
projects like Fesshole and B3ta - do make sure
you buy their products. Thanks.
https://hebtro.co/product/sweary-scarf/
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People who use Blu Tack to stick pictures on
walls - hanging is too good for them
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: IMAGE CHALLENGE
Winter Albums
Last week we were asking you to fuck around
with LPs again and make them wintery. They're
all snow good.
https://b3ta.com/challenge/winteralbums/popular/
This week we're doing reverse Archaeology.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/b3tenet/popular/
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Remember 8 pm Thursday: clap if you're a massive
Tory who thinks the Government is doing a great
job.
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: PATREON THANKS
We love all these people
*HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
JAMES* *STOOBERT*
24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit,
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Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
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blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine
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Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown,
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Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David
Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay,
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McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
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Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver
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Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley,
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Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane
McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin
Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete,
Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes,
Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan,
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Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik,
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Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig
Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland,
Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney,
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peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag,
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Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ
Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren
John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David
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M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay,
Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr,
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Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis,
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Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen
McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
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Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John
Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya
Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline
Kahn, Matt.
EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round.
GENUINE TOP TIP: if you've got an old chair
that you want taken away, place it outside
your house with a sign saying "£30 - ring the
doorbell". Guaranteed it's more likely to be
nicked than offering it up for free.
And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
NEWER ONES: Mark (Mavis), Joshua Rackstraw,
Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri Bionic, Chris
Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris Smith, Daniel
Malbon, James Heaver and Phil Lovell. Please
join the patreon so we can afford to buy
sausages. And a special thanks to the Hebtro
gang. Buy their scarves. Eat rats. Stay safe.
http://patreon.com/b3ta
