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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 56: "MEAT OR ACCIDENT?"

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This Week:
- Meat or Accident Quiz
- Gay Skeleton Animation
- Exploit a Cripple 

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 56 - 13 Sept 2002

Read this issue online:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue56/

       Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
         Unsub:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
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: MEAT OR ACCIDENT
  Can you tell? Can you? 

  David Wellington has made a quiz. It tests
  whether you can tell the difference between
  meat or someone who has been badly hurt.

  It's quite repellent and made us wince.

  We love it.
http://mantlepies.com/meatoraccident/

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    WHO WANTS TO BE AN ASTRONAUT? The BBC is
    developing a reality TV show where punters
    compete to be an astronaut. This is the
    best TV idea ever. 

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: GAY SKELETONS
  Dancing! Singing! And being lovely

  Matt Round writes -

  "I've spent the weekend playing around with
  plastic skeletons in a tribute to Ray
  Harryhausen."

  Wow - and he's certainly come up trumps. His
  choice of music and choreography are inspired.
http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/tribute/

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    JAPANESE PEEPING TOMS - the Japanese are
    using camera phones to surreptitiously take
    naughty pictures in public. A favourite ploy
    is aiming the handset up ladies' skirts on
    the Tube.

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: EXPLOIT A CRIPPLE
  For your ad campaign.

  Todd Swank has unique talent - he's got funny
  looking arms.

  He's reckons that would make him ideal for an
  advertising campaign.

  "Hire the Handicapped", he writes, "we're fun
  to watch. A creative marketing team could
  leverage my skill for being noticed by the
  general public into a successful series of
  television commercials."
  
  The cost? He's asking for $2 million.

  Is he mad? Maybe, but it's a nice try.
http://www.shortarmguy.com/exploitation.htm


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  Puppies, Gloom, Sticks, and Sleeping Drunks
  
  >> Toilet Training a Puppy <<
  Weebl has made this nice short animation about
  the problems of house breaking pets. It made
  us laugh.
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/b3ta/pets1.html


  >> Ingmar Bergman Stand-up Comedy <<
  Mushy Bees reveals why Ingmar Bergman is more
  famous for bleak Swedish films rather than 
  stand-up comedy. Thanks - we were wondering.
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/dirty.sanchez/BERGEP01.swf


  >> Touching stick figure story <<
  Robin Johnson bares his soul on the Internet
  through the medium of stick figure animation.
  Surprisingly affecting and poignant.
http://www.robinjohnson.f9.co.uk/b3ta/story.gif


  >> Balancing stuff on drunk mates <<
  Stuck for a new game to play when you're 
  drunk? Why not stack things on your sleeping
  friends? (Thanks to 'The Love Manatee')
http://benjanaway.users.btopenworld.com/EFE.htm


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Alchemy Game <<
  This online puzzle takes a few minutes to get
  your head round and then it's too late - you're
  sucked in. We've been playing it two hours
  a day for the last week. It should be banned.
http://games.yahoo.com/games/alchemy.html


  >> Warp your photos in 3D <<
  Remember that link where you could drag George
  Bush around by the nose? The designer has made
  a fantastic variation where you can use any
  photo on the net. It's brilliant - but it's
  a shame that you can't email your creations
  to friends.
http://www.foulds2000.freeserve.co.uk/test/drawMask12.html


  >> Mobile phone stun gun <<
  This Ebay seller has made a stun gun disguised
  as a phone. It can deliver a 180,000 volt
  shock. Ouch. Doesn't work as a phone though.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1765284919


  >> Porn Star Action Figures <<
  Nerdy blokes like porn. Nerdy blokes like
  action figures. Why not kill two birds with
  one stone? 
http://www.plasticfantasy.com/jenna_fr.html


  >> Talk like pirate <<
  International Talk Like A Pirate Day is coming.
  On Sept 19th you must answer the phone
  with "Ahoy, me hearty!" Else you're a scurvy
  dog.
http://www.bayarea.com/mld/mercurynews/entertainment/4029728.htm


  >> Burger Animation <<
  This is a incoherent and hate-filled song about
  a fast food restaurant. Not much happens but
  there is a real sense of rage.
http://sherm.20megsfree.com/burgerking.swf


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from Straight to Video Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted Films that went straight
  to Video:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/straighttovideo/

  We asked B3ta boarder indole_ring to judge the
  entries - here are his 3 faves.

  #1 "Pitch Black" (by meester t) -
     "There is beauty in simplicity, and there is
     no doubt that this film would go straight to
     video - if it managed to get released at all.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/3/2/3/1/3/7

  #2 "Legally Blind" (by Dr. Phil Kitten) -
     "A good idea, seamless photoshopping, as well
     as bonus jokes in the small text.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/3/1/3/9/2/8

  #3 "Shall we Dance" (by bluemerle) -
     "Who could resist Fred Astaire and Ginger Kitten
     in a golden oldie?"
http://www.b3ta.com/board/3/2/6/2/9/6


  >> This Week's Challenge <<

  This week, B3ta contributor shaolin_bukkake
  suggested, "Toys unsafe for children"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/unsafetoys/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * WIN GAY SEX - a few weeks ago we offered you
    the chance to date Log, the creator of Law of
    the Playground. No-one followed the rules
    properly, and unless a gay man sends him a
    picture of what their love looks like soon,
    he's going to have to do something silly.
http://www.log.dial.pipex.com/mememe/lovemedo.htm


  * B3TA MUSIC VOTE - Koit has spent the last
    couple of months making tunes inspired 
    by the messageboard. Last week he asked
    you to vote for the best songs. Here are
    the results.
http://www.koit.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/koitvote.htm


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Stuff we'd really like to see includes

  * New quizzes. But no "which x am I" stuff.
  * Dangerous stunts in your office.
  * Your usual mix of animation and stupid
    things.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

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  THANKS:

  Granniesbungalow, Craig Hiley, Cymone &
  AndrewG, Jonti and Fraser for the links. 
  David Stevenson for helping edit the issue.
  Mike Trinder for handling the image challenge.
  B4ta for proof reading. (45215)

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