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NEWSLETTER: ANOTHER ONE!

 
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This Week:
* FREEMAN OF THE LAND - Vs cops
* PENGUINS - being heckled
* DUBSTEP - Control all the wubs with your face

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      the web... 
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       we think?

B3ta email 643 - 21 Nov 2014

Read this issues after inhaling helium:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue643

   Babies : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
   Rabies : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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: SPONSORED LINK
  Yay - Amazon bollocks

  Want some vaguely racist slippers? These guys
  have you covered - and only five-star reviews!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rasta-Character-Plush-Novelty-Slippers/dp/B0063ZYY0S//b3ta-21

  
  >> Sponsor B3ta <<
  Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

  * THE HOLE - "Here's a sketch I co-wrote" glees
  Eddache. "It's about a hole!"
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Hole


  * 10 HOURS OF WALKING IN ANTARCTICA AS A PENGUIN
  Agilely leaping onto two recent viral video
  bandwagons, "I'm so terrible," confesses
  jonofthsouth. 
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1247604
  

  * ACHILLES EEL - Joel Veitch claims, "Achilles
  and his eel are the best of friends!" But
  that's NOT what this shocking video seems to
  suggest.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Achilles_Eel


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: USVSTH3M
  That other B3taish project

  * 24 struggles that only people who work from
  home will understand. This is all 100% true and
  100% about us:
http://usvsth3m.com/post/24-struggles-that-only-people-working-from-home-understand


  * Clickbait Headline generator - then see it as
  a website. This Video Will Show You've Been
  Shopping For Beef Wrong Your Entire Life:
http://community.usvsth3m.com/generator/clickbait-headline-generator


  * Unrealistic Comet Lander - could YOU do a
  better job than the European Space Agency at
  landing on Comet 67P?  
http://games.usvsth3m.com/unrealistic-comet-landing-simulator/


  * WUBCAM - 1) Turn on your webcam, 2) Control
  the dubstep wubs by wobbling your face.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/wubcam/


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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  Control Freaks
  
  Last week we wanted you to tell us about the
  people you've met who were screwed on just a
  little bit too tightly:
http://b3ta.com/questions/sillyachievements


  * HALF A SHOW - "I can't watch telly at my
  mother's house.
  
  "She has an iron grip on the remote control and
  feels the need to switch to another channel
  while the ads are on, thus making you miss part
  of the show you were originally watching and
  getting you interested in the second show, just
  to turn it over again.
  
  "Even my dad isn't allowed to complain or
  touch the remote without getting called a
  baldy cunt." (Smash Monkey)

  
  * CUTLERY DRAWER - "My girlfriend has the
  cutlery in the following order:

  "Spoons (teaspoons and dessert spoons mixed),
  knives, garlic crusher/pizza slicer. Then in
  the horizontal slot - forks.

  "It's hard to sleep at night." (scoshi)

  
  * I HAVE AN EXCELLENT STORY - "But I'm only
  going to tell it to you once you're all sitting
  still... and I'd BETTER NOT HAVE ANY
  INTERRUPTIONS." (eViLegion)


  >> Continuing This Week - Weddings II <<
  Attending a wedding is like being handed a
  licence to act like a twat. Tell us more:
http://b3ta.com/questions/controlfreaks/


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  * YOUGOV PROFILER - On the off-chance you
  haven't already seen it, this week the poll
  site made an online tool that lets you see the
  OTHER opinions of people who like sausages or
  Nick Clegg or Top Gear or really ANYTHING.
https://yougov.co.uk/profiler#/


  * PICS OF SHOREDITCH RESIDENTS - as Shoreditch
  dweller MaxineBasset says, "There's no one like
  this living near me. (Apart from me.) When does
  being wildly individual become a bit samey?"
http://dougiewallace.com/9365/shoreditch-wild-life/


  * LONG GIF GOOD PAYOFF - "...and I thought it
  was for something worthless, like an iPhone,"
  confesses illiterate.
http://i.imgur.com/rss2sBB.gifv


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO

  * FREEMAN OF THE LAND VS POLICE - Watch US
  police try to keep a straight face as some
  bloke tries to pull all that "I am not a person
  and you can't arrest me because this is
  maritime law" shizz on them. And then...
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1247014


  * HERMIT CRAB HOUSING CHAIN - The sublime David
  Attenborough talks us through the peculiar
  queuing practices of different-sized hermit
  crabs.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Hermit_crab_housing_chain


  * KNOCK KNOCK SHEEP - Who knows how long the
  dad kept his daughter standing in a field until
  they got the perfect take?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFgbdfjK2ZY


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the 'Big Mistake' challenge

  Last week we asked you to depict stupid ideas 
  and foolish endeavours.
 
  Your favourites included:

  * SHOW AND TELL: MP Presentation day
  (Fresh Water Mole)
http://b3ta.com/board/11110399

  * HULK: Never mock the Hogan
 (DolphinWhipperer)
http://b3ta.com/board/11110502
 
  * GLITTER: The old PCWorld error  
  (robneymcplum)
http://b3ta.com/board/11110420
  
  All these images, and a couple more can be
 found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/bigmistake/


 >> New challenge: Climate Change <
 This week's challenge is all about messing 
 with the weather. Give us Gene Kelly Singing 
 in the snow and brighten up Rutger Hauer's 
 'tears in the rain' speech. 
 Challenge suggested by monkeon.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/climatechange/


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: FUNNY NAME CORNER

  "Well, we've all tried it," suggests WeirdWeb.
  At least she ends on an upbeat note.
http://www.nie.edu.sg/profile/chew-shit-fun


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * A WAY TO CURE HICCUPS - One of us had a baby
  the other week. The hiccups will not stop.
  
  * AN INFINITE MONEY TREE - that WON'T cause
  hyperinflation.

  * THE RETURN OF HUFTY - Surely she's paid her
  debt to society?
   
  Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.

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    Yay: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
    Nay: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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    Follow @b3ta on Twitter and win a leopard:
https://twitter.com/b3ta
  
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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
  David Stevenson.
  Stuff sent in by Matt Round, Pig Bodine,
  tokyosexwhale, a humble reindeer herder. 
  Top Tippery by social hand grenade.
  Image challenge by HappyToast.
  Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.

  
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  TOP TIP:
  Pacify sanctimonious types by living in a stone
  house and throwing glasses.

 
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