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# Anecdote
Last night, while partaking of some live music on the Renfrew Ferry, I noticed a Police boat speeding past. They came to a stop and pulled a ned (aka pikey, scally, townie, etc) from the water, who had apparently fallen in.

Now, two things:

(a) They're helping him out of the water before he drowns and he's trying to take them all on at once.

(b) He still had his Burberry cap on. At the requisite 45 degree angle.

I laughed. Heartily.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:43, archived)
# it's out of stories like that
that legends are born


i'm off to have a shower* and then go and make a total arse of myself in front of strangers**

* may include wanking
** may also include wanking
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:47, archived)
# Tj: when you have a spare moment
(and, indeed, a spare hand)

why not drop by to visit my new gallery, finally categorised:
www.bloggerheads.com/photoshopping/
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:49, archived)
# why does
everyone go on about wanking all the time? is there something wrong with my hubby?

have a nice night makig an arse of yourself.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:50, archived)
# it's because i don't have a partner
that wanking features heavily
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:51, archived)
# he
doesn't ever want to have sex either though... (hence me being horny all the time)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:52, archived)
# perhaps
he's impotent
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:56, archived)
# nope
nothing wrong with his bits, it's just his head
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:57, archived)
# I would have
thrown im back in
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:48, archived)
# porn has been around a lot longer than the internet
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:40, archived)
# wow
now you can sniff benzyne *and* look at porn!
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:43, archived)
[challenge entry] hope all you kids rush out and buy it
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:34, archived)
# "ironic black vinyl"
heheh, funny.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:35, archived)
# What he said.
hehe
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:37, archived)
# and him
arf
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:39, archived)
# just silly
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:33, archived)
# but
scarily accurate*

*probably
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:35, archived)
# Bream
In Cream?
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:37, archived)
# Ahhh just look at me!
I'm bursting with glee!
You ask me why just so I seem,
Because my wife cooking bream!
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:47, archived)
# er

I have a badger

woo! to te pic tho very clever ;)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:38, archived)
# Hello Sailor
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:27, archived)
# *snigger*
you said 'friend'
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:28, archived)
# narf!
snicker. snickers.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:31, archived)
# how does he manage to save goals
and be fired out of a cannon?
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:29, archived)
# You obviously didn't keep up with this afternoon's results
bah.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:30, archived)
# lol, made me snort aloud
btw does anyone know where I can find that one klan dude satanding on his own, I've tried every google combination and cant seem to find him un-photosopped. merci!
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:31, archived)
# Woo!
I like the style.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:39, archived)
# Male blood supply
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:26, archived)
# no oxygen to the brain i see
you might have a point
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:27, archived)
# of course there is
that's where all the blood is going to... direct to the male brain
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:28, archived)
# i have an idea
whereby a series of veins and capilliaries carry powdered egg drect to your liver.

it'd work, too.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:31, archived)
# then do it
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:32, archived)
# do you have
any diagrams or promotional videos?
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:32, archived)
# yes
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:34, archived)
# will you be opening
up for investors?

my millions* could help you

* lie
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:36, archived)
# but
for why?
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:32, archived)
# is he
a vampire? that's a real Eddie Munster haircut...
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:28, archived)
# doesn't urea come from the blood? /not-a-biologist
hence blood is punped directly to the bladder to be excreted.

such a waste.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:32, archived)
[challenge entry]
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:26, archived)
# oh...
I've seen what you've done there

;oP
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:35, archived)
# took me a while,
but then I am a bit slow.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 19:03, archived)
# I
like that. Yay and all that jazz.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:36, archived)
# Reeeoowoowwowowowowoweeeeeooowww!

That's the noise it would make
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:23, archived)
# wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
that's very good : )
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:24, archived)
# can't take
credit for the fisherman, that was half-inched!
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:25, archived)
# There no room to swing a cat in here
w/y/h
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:24, archived)
# i want to hear
you make this noise

i'll pay you anything you want
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:25, archived)
# hehe
i loikes that
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:25, archived)
# yay !
ace that :)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:25, archived)
# Wooyaywoooyayaoooayay
That's the sound I'm making.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:25, archived)
# that's very nicely done
but this name changing business is badness
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:26, archived)
# Really?
I think my new one is much nicer, it's been this way for a while.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:28, archived)
# I prefer the old one too
sorry
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:29, archived)
# Bah!
This one's fluffy, like me, I'm fucking fluffy alright?!
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:34, archived)
# then call yourself...
tentaclebunny or something (instead of something with more syllables than a Welsh dictionary)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:37, archived)
# could shorten it to lovetent
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:39, archived)
# hmmm
catchy.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:48, archived)
# oh it's a nicer name
but it just means that I had no idea who you were... not that it matters to you of course.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:29, archived)
# I suppose
you like to know your flock eh?
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:33, archived)
# i'd like them tagged
and sit in a huge bunker with maps and little lights tracking their movements
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:36, archived)
# You are a
frightening man Rob.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:43, archived)
# maybe
if you had some sort of tower ...
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:54, archived)
# nice
one!
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:34, archived)
# Tweetness and light :)

(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:22, archived)
# What a
Rotter, woo!
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:24, archived)
# oooooooooooooh
I like that I do!
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:25, archived)
# due to the increased threat of terrorism...
...the government introduced new broadcasting guidelines

(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:15, archived)
# ..
lol, woo to you sir.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:16, archived)
#
Jack Straw is reading the beano.. he should be paying attention
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:16, archived)
# they smell
that is all
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:18, archived)
# bananaman smells
Rob said so
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:20, archived)
# grotbags smells
i met her...its like wee wee mixed with cabbage
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:21, archived)
# Christ
that must be bad
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:22, archived)
# thats why rod hull
hated her
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:23, archived)
# The stench made him fall from his roof
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:24, archived)
# pffffft
thats cruel
*snigger*
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:25, archived)
# hahaha
superb
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:20, archived)
# jolly
good
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:54, archived)
# Woo - The bayeux Tapestry
Currently its about 20% complete!! Please help to complete it, simply visit the download page:
www.chrisemerson.co.uk/bayeux/download.htm
Then copy the chosen section into photoshop and edit it. Then email it to me at [email protected] or post it on the board. The complete tapestry can be found at:
www.chrisemerson.co.uk/bayeux/version2/

Feel free to photoshop anything into the tapestry but try not to be too graphic!!!
-Also try to photoshop parts which haven't been done yet!
P.S: Sorry about all the messy hyperlinks and different hosting accounts, the sites still being designed.
Cheers,
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:13, archived)
# This is nuts.
If it weren't for m3tatw33ning, I'd have a go.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:15, archived)
# if it weren't
for my complete lack of skill and attention span, i'd also have a go

afternoon
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:20, archived)
# good
afternoon
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:22, archived)
# hello there
due to too much drinking yesterday, my mind and body are both in great turmoil

and i'm going out in a bit to drink more

alcoholism ROCKS!
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:24, archived)
# not when
you have an alcoholic parent it doesn't.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:25, archived)
# true
it was meant in jest, my apolamogies
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:26, archived)
# apollomammaries
accepted
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:29, archived)
# What are we?
You Bayeux Photoshopping....

Sure, I'll give it a go. It looks fun!
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:16, archived)
# My band pissed off the Normans
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:27, archived)
# That, my friend
is a really good idea.

Woo and good luck to you. I'd join in myself if only I had Photoshop.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:25, archived)
# there's a moral to this image
it's either something to do with drugs or something to do with not starting an image until you have a good idea...




original story Spending spree head remanded
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:09, archived)
# I'm listening to
Nik Kershaw.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:14, archived)
# he's always right
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:14, archived)
# Wouldn't it be good to be Nik Kershaw?
Wouldn't it be good to make some bread?
Wouldn't it be good if I could get some viscious head?
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:16, archived)
# Why

do they do it?
seriously, why do scallys tuck their pants into their socks? This question keeps me awake at nights
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:07, archived)
# heh heh heh heh heh
I could watch that all day : )
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:08, archived)
# Strange and woosome.
I got bitten to buggery by ants this afternoon. I got some advice off the innerweb to rub garlic on the bites to reduce the irritation, so I did... and it works!!!

I now reek of garlic tho'
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:08, archived)
# at least
you won't get bitten by vampires... you may get chased by sleazy Frenchmen though...
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:12, archived)
# *appears on cue*
evening all :)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:13, archived)
# are you
an undead sleazy Frenchman? if so, you hide it well ; )

evening tall and shiny one.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:15, archived)
# moderately alive
half french, and not really sleazy at all. other than that, it's a dead match :)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:16, archived)
# not sleazy??
pffffffffffffft! refrains from mentioning wanking into my hair...
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:18, archived)
# need i remind you
that you started all that?
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:19, archived)
# I did not!
I never bring up wanking... it just seems to happen when I'm around sometimes...
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:21, archived)
# hhehehe
.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:10, archived)
# Yarr!!
And why do they wear burberry caps with the peaks pointing to the sky? The list goes on, and no-one is any the wiser. Hmmmm.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:11, archived)
# I recently saw
two teenage blokes on the tube. Their hair was so high that their baseball caps weren't even as far down as the top of their skulls, and they both had dummies - one holding it in his hand, the other with it in the side of his mouth in a James-Dean-matchstick kinda way...
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:14, archived)
# i saw one
the other day with not only a burberry cap, but a burberry cover on his mobile phone.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:16, archived)
# I still think
the funniest thing is all the English people wearing Hackett clothing and being blissfully unaware of what that means in Scots...
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:17, archived)
# What a
twat.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:18, archived)
# .
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:06, archived)
# super woo
and mega yaay
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:08, archived)
# oooh
nice perspective !
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:08, archived)
# You live in a strange world.
I like it!
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:10, archived)
# hehehe
;)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:11, archived)
# Heeee!
Can I borrow it to help me compere 'Miss Pram Face Abergavenny 2003' tomorrow?
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:12, archived)
# lol
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:18, archived)
# Yet Another
blinding pic from you, Woo :)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:10, archived)
# Nice bit of shoppage as usual
That is.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:19, archived)
# moosome !
:)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:24, archived)
# raaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:59, archived)
# on that note
i'm off for the evening.
ta ra.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:59, archived)
#
'night
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:03, archived)
# ta
ra

:)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:03, archived)
# hmmmm
he'll be popular in the gay community when he's older...
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:00, archived)
# When he's older?
Why wait?
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:01, archived)
# ewww!
no kids, no animals, no dead things!
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:02, archived)
#
sorry
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:03, archived)
# other than that
anything goes : )
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:03, archived)
# waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!



*runs*
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:01, archived)
# Oi! I'm standing there!
Welcome back oh pachydermic one.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:08, archived)
# wooo
TJ:when i donate money do i just click on the paypal bit or do i have to tell someone first?
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:02, archived)
# I think what you have to do
is give the money to me and forget anything ever happened...
Sorry, no, you don't have to tell anyone, just click :)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:03, archived)
# ta
:)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:05, archived)
# yay
:)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:04, archived)
# Bloody 'ell
Urk.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:18, archived)
# This I find very funny...
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:58, archived)
[challenge entry] i guess i'm going straight to hell for this one...

(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:55, archived)
# Messy!
He's going to get pips all over his nice white robe.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:58, archived)
# Bits of water melon are like
non-sticky, non-freezing, very-tasty ice lollies.
Yum.
So not like ice lollies at all, actually. Sorry.
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:00, archived)
# Except
in my fridge, everything freezes. My fridge is evil. It freezes my beer :|
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:13, archived)
# You do realise there's
a temperarture adjustment feature?
Simply 'twist' the 'knob'
;o)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 18:21, archived)
# 39 steps meets Hutton no. 2
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:48, archived)
# hehe
love no.1 too
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:54, archived)
# Blimey
thats is so very very Woo

Afternoon all
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:55, archived)
# "Feed me!"
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:46, archived)
# eep
solids?
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:48, archived)
#
I wouldn't
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:49, archived)
# argh!
there should be a word for this sort of shop
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:49, archived)
# killit?
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:49, archived)
# they always make me think
of the corinthian, but that's a bit lengthy for most b3tans ;)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:50, archived)
# Mothercare?
;)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:51, archived)
# there is
it's an Ian Yeek.

evening all. hugs all round
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:54, archived)
# I assume
there's some obscure reason for this buried deep in the spazz somewhere?
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:58, archived)
# yeah
there was a spate of mouth-eyed babies months ago and they were named Ian Yeeks then. I can't remember why...
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:59, archived)
# evenin
:)
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:58, archived)
# good
evening : )
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:59, archived)
# Reminds me of
Mata's 9 mouthed baby. One of the most disturbing things i've seen on the net

Wooo yours
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:49, archived)
# excellent
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:50, archived)
# argggggggggggggggggggh
kill it
(, Sat 23 Aug 2003, 17:56, archived)

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