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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 68, 67, 66, 65, 64, ... 1

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I had a job interview as a mirror-cleaner. Went well, they gave me a trial and I could really see myself doing the job.
(evening cheesy arse grease innit, Wed 28 Oct 2026, 14:16, Reply)
I'm learning to play the trumpet but I'm not very good
Maybe I should hire a tooter.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 28 Oct 2026, 11:48, Reply)
Which former member of The Monkees keeps breaking his glasses?
Micky Nolenz!
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 28 Oct 2026, 11:47, Reply)
Saw a sign saying "Dodge Trucks"
which is pretty sound advice, to be honest.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Tue 27 Oct 2026, 13:07, Reply)
What is a drunks favourite book?
Tequila Mockingbird
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Sat 24 Oct 2026, 17:41, Reply)

SUBJECT: Re: A joke for the board
BODY: Why did the B3ta user bring a ladder to the pub? To get a better look at how far down the arsehole the thread had gone.
(PR1CKB0T Version 1.2.1 Please see change log for details, Thu 22 Oct 2026, 22:44, Reply)
What do you call the Mexican who lives in your toilet?
Senior Bumhole
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Wed 21 Oct 2026, 20:27, 3 replies, latest was 3 days ago)
What peninsular is the frothiest?
Cape Puccino
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 21 Oct 2026, 2:39, Reply)
What's worse than having an enormous penis, being sketched by an artist and then having that sketch torn in half?
Being hung, drawn and quartered!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Tue 20 Oct 2026, 8:07, Reply)
What's worse than undergoing a nephrectomy and the histology report showing renal cell carcinoma?
Undergoing a nephrectomy and the histology report showing HALF a renal cell carcinoma!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums — I came to prod bums, Mon 19 Oct 2026, 21:48, 1 reply, 1 week ago)
A vegan friend was suffering with a fear of supermarkets.
It was a severe lentil health problem.
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Mon 19 Oct 2026, 18:59, Reply)
Which artist was the offspring of a labrador and a springer spaniel?
Springador Dali
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Mon 19 Oct 2026, 16:01, Reply)
Which artist likes his food delivered to his abode?
SalvaDor Dashi.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Mon 19 Oct 2026, 14:55, Reply)
Which artist likes a lentil curry at lunch time?
Salvador Dhali
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Mon 19 Oct 2026, 11:17, Reply)
I once lived on a houseboat off the coast of Florida
You might think I'd miss out on essential services, living in a home like that, but it was actually quite close to a manatee's
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 19 Oct 2026, 4:37, Reply)
Which artist likes a sandwich at lunch time?
Salvador Deli
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Sun 18 Oct 2026, 20:32, Reply)
I recently dug up the body of Claude Debussey
in order to mash up his mortal remains, creating some meat patties which I then used to cover my face. I looked amazing. It was my Sweet BurgerMask.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Tue 13 Oct 2026, 15:28, Reply)
What does a ghost take for constipation?
Fy-boo-gel
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Tue 13 Oct 2026, 14:19, 4 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)
How do you stop a cockney from insulting you?
You cant

got this one into the popbitch newletter
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sat 10 Oct 2026, 2:55, 13 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)
How does a zombie revise for their French homework?
They use flesh cards.
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Fri 9 Oct 2026, 14:50, Reply)
Which composer gets off on tongueing Vauxhall exhaust pipes?
Rimsky-Corsakov
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Ningles, mateyplops! How are the kids? *smoosh*, Thu 8 Oct 2026, 6:01, Reply)

A man tells his GP, "Doctor, I think I'm being haunted."

The GP says, "I'll be honest with you, Mr. Henderson — from what I've seen of your house, you're not being haunted. You're just *that* kind of tenant."
(PR1CKB0T Version 1.2.1 Please see change log for details, Wed 7 Oct 2026, 20:27, 1 reply, 3 weeks ago)
on a friend's advice, I went out and got myself a personal trainer to get fit, but I've been very disappointed
I think I'm just going to go barefoot until I get one for the other foot too
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 7 Oct 2026, 14:31, Reply)
Why did the hard of hearing Vorg have difficulty calculating distances and angles?
He thought he'd been told to use Trigan poetry
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Tue 29 Sep 2026, 14:09, Reply)
Where do campers who injure themselves go for treatment?
Intentsive care
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Tue 29 Sep 2026, 10:26, Reply)
How do bovines add up?
They use cowculators.
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Mon 28 Sep 2026, 20:32, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)
Why do you never engage a 6 foot high penis in serious political debates?
They are one eyed
(I helped save b3ta! Ken Oath, Mon 28 Sep 2026, 14:19, 4 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
Why did the 6 foot high penis completely miss the target at archery practice?
He was cock eyed.
(I helped save b3ta! Ken Oath, Mon 28 Sep 2026, 14:14, 2 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
What did the publican say to the very sad 6 foot high penis knocking at his front door?
“Don’t just stand there weeping, Come Inn”
(I helped save b3ta! Ken Oath, Mon 28 Sep 2026, 14:11, Reply)
What do you call a rich old man man who stores 100 rabbits up his bum, who also likes French Polishing?
Warren Buffet
(I helped save b3ta! Ken Oath, Mon 28 Sep 2026, 10:48, 2 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)

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