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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

* No isms - keep this light
* Non jokes will be deleted and users temp banned
* No nicked jokes - write one!

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

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Knock Knock
Who's there?
Clit
Clit who?
Clit Richard. Well I always thought he was a bit of a cunt.
(, Fri 22 Jun 2018, 21:03, Reply)
I was looking for help with my finances but I found myself looking at a website that was trying to restore a French impressionist painter's art
Turns out it was monetsavingexpert.com
(, Thu 14 Jun 2018, 22:05, Reply)
The guy from A Very English Scandal and 90s rapper Skee-Lo stood back to back
Whishaw was a little bit taller
(, Thu 14 Jun 2018, 14:10, 1 reply, 1 week ago)
A polar bear walks into a bar. "I'll have a large ............. ...... ... whisky."
Barman: "Why the big paws?"
(, Mon 11 Jun 2018, 12:32, Reply)
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
(, Mon 11 Jun 2018, 12:28, Reply)
Q. What's a good brand name for a scheme in which one pays for vehicles with anuses?
A.Bum Per Cars™.
(, Wed 6 Jun 2018, 18:39, Reply)
*ahem*
If a travel agent is surrounded by a ring of small islands, are they atoll-protected?
(, Mon 4 Jun 2018, 0:49, Reply)
What's Ferris Bueller's favourite style of curry?
Chicken Tikkaaaaaah
(, Sun 3 Jun 2018, 10:25, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)
Someone murdered a competitor in the Tour de France
Cycle killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?




Je suis désolé.
(, Sun 3 Jun 2018, 1:28, 2 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)
What do you call a small mother?
A minimum
(, Sat 2 Jun 2018, 9:21, 3 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)
Embarrassed myself in a Mexican restaurant last night...
I ordered a burro instead of a churro.

What an ass!
(, Wed 30 May 2018, 13:55, Reply)
How do you escape a bear?
\🐻
(, Wed 23 May 2018, 19:07, Reply)
Mum Jokes will get you far.
But Dad Jokes will get you father.
(, Tue 22 May 2018, 22:19, Reply)
Dad Jokes
That’s how eye roll.
(, Tue 22 May 2018, 22:18, Reply)
Joke
With midges, what do you call the queen?

Your Midgesty.
(, Tue 22 May 2018, 17:02, Reply)
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a Thunderbirds puppet?
One has Brains.
(, Mon 21 May 2018, 5:27, Reply)
Doggie joke
Dog A: My owner has no nose.
Dog B: How does he smell?
Dog A: Welk, his crotch smells great.
(, Sun 20 May 2018, 20:05, Reply)
Do you know how you can tell when trash is on the curb?
It usually honks.
(, Sun 20 May 2018, 4:39, Reply)
What's twisty, tightly wound and covers a cunt?
Fox News.
(, Sat 19 May 2018, 15:55, Reply)
what do you call a big reptile that gets someone else to bite you?
a deligator
(, Sat 19 May 2018, 7:26, Reply)
Do you know what makes me cross?
Lollipop ladies.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 22:49, Reply)
There's a rumour going round....
that the antiquated Lords' plumbing system will collapse with all the extra Tory pee-ers.
(, Fri 18 May 2018, 21:31, Reply)
Did you know that owls occasionally use chocolate to attract a mate?
Twix to woo.
(, Thu 17 May 2018, 22:50, Reply)
What do you call someone who delivers Indian cuisine?
A courier.
(, Wed 16 May 2018, 18:39, Reply)
What do you call a royal wedding sandwich?
Anything that's in bread.
(, Wed 16 May 2018, 7:56, 2 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
What sings opera and overdoes it on the oregano?
A Prezzo-soprano
(, Wed 16 May 2018, 1:47, Reply)
what sound does batman's alarm clock make?
breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast breakfast BATMAN!
(, Tue 15 May 2018, 23:15, Reply)
What the most northerly caprine in Britain?
John O'Goats
(, Tue 15 May 2018, 0:40, Reply)
Where do mad people go to shop?
In Sainsburys
(, Tue 15 May 2018, 0:32, Reply)
What's wiry, wispy and covers a cunt?
Donald Trump's hair
(, Mon 14 May 2018, 23:09, Reply)

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