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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT

* No isms - keep this light
* Non jokes will be deleted and users temp banned
* No nicked jokes - write one!

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, ... 1

This question is now closed.

How do you think the unthinkable?
With an itheberg
(, Thu 10 May 2018, 13:48, 2 replies)
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
None
(, Sat 12 May 2018, 0:26, 6 replies)
What four legged animal helps pollenation?
Most of a bee.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:49, 4 replies)
What does Kanye West and brussel sprouts have in common?
I hate them
(, Wed 9 May 2018, 16:36, Reply)
How do you escape a bear?
\🐻
(, Wed 23 May 2018, 19:07, Reply)
What's the difference between USA and USB?
One has a white lead and never seems to be the correct way round, the other is is an industry standard that was developed to define cables, connectors and protocols for connection, communication, and power supply between personal computers and their peripheral devices.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:38, 3 replies)
What's really thick and lives on a globe?
A flat Earther.
(, Sun 13 May 2018, 12:33, 1 reply)
How many gammon does it take to change a lightbulb?
Millions. First to successfully campaign to leave the EU, and then to wait in the dark for the proper inefficient incandescent light bulbs to make a comeback.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:52, 1 reply)
I have a grudging respect for people who do fly tipping.
They've got six legs, sticky feet, and they're a damned sight harder to sneak up on than cows.
(, Wed 9 May 2018, 2:40, Reply)
what do you call a big reptile that gets someone else to bite you?
a deligator
(, Sat 19 May 2018, 7:26, Reply)
"Doctor, doctor...
The GUI on my Unix based system has crashed and it's left me with just a command line prompt. Is it serious?"

"I'm afraid it's Terminal."
(, Wed 9 May 2018, 0:17, 2 replies)
Contrary to popular belief, Stephen Hawking wasn't a theoretical physicist.
He was real.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 10:46, Reply)
Although a transvestite friend of mine lives in Greater Manchester...

He also has a Wigan address.
(, Thu 4 Oct 2018, 17:29, 2 replies)
What idiot called it an airline meal instead of snacks on a plane?

(, Tue 4 Sep 2018, 11:15, 2 replies)
i asked my friend
why she was dating a homeless man who looked like Elvis.
she replied: "i'm courting a tramp, i can't walk out"
(, Sun 26 Aug 2018, 15:10, 1 reply)
Q. How many members of the NRA does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. More guns!
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 18:37, 3 replies)
Why are shoes like a naughty greengrocer?
They come in pairs.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 11:40, Reply)
What's #000000 and #FFFFFF and #FF0000 all over?
A newspaper dot com
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:56, Reply)
High brow joke
I can't believe they cancelled Vivaldi after just Four Seasons...
(, Fri 20 Jul 2018, 13:24, Reply)
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a Rolfaroo?
Giant holes all over your children
(, Wed 9 May 2018, 21:42, 1 reply)
What do you get when cheese explodes?
De Brie.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 20:57, Reply)
Which singer can you boot up?
Adele
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 17:05, 2 replies)
My scouse uncle does greengrocery deliveries in Shoreditch
He doesn't have a van.
He does avocado.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 13:59, Reply)
What smells of piss and doesn't work?
The House of Lords
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:45, 1 reply)
Some people think I'm a homophobe
but it only sounds that way.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:37, 3 replies)
Do you know what gets my goat?
El Chupacabra.
(, Mon 20 Aug 2018, 23:52, Reply)
Second in line to throne launches probe into Britain's separation from the European Union:
Brexit, pursued by an heir.
(, Wed 9 May 2018, 13:58, 2 replies)
The world origami championship is going to be on Sky this year.
As a paper-view event.
(, Wed 9 May 2018, 12:04, Reply)
.
[email protected]: ~ $ ls
file.txt
[email protected]: ~ $ touch this
touch: cannot touch 'this': Permission denied
[email protected]: ~ $ sudo !!
[sudo] password for mc: **********
[email protected]: ~ $ ls
file.txt
this
(, Wed 9 May 2018, 0:27, 1 reply)
Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock.
Who's there?
A spider with an erection.
(, Tue 8 May 2018, 9:20, 1 reply)

This question is now closed.

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