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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
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I'm trying to be more like a red root vegetable
My folks always told me to beetroot-o myself.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Sat 11 Jul 2026, 20:53, Reply)
which species of ape in the family Hylobatidae has the capital Libreville?
Gabon
(piss and shit, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 18:19, Reply)
What do you call an ape that's overdosed on Sunny D?
Orange Utan
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 9 Jul 2026, 8:05, Reply)
Knock knock
Who's there?
Orange
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say Jews!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 8 Jul 2026, 22:13, Reply)
Which club is Claudia Winkleman a member of?
Orange Jews.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 7 Jul 2026, 14:06, Reply)
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Orange juice.
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Tue 7 Jul 2026, 12:26, Reply)
I had to meet someone on Meryl Street yesterday
but I got confused and ended up on Glenn Close
(piss and shit, Mon 6 Jul 2026, 10:24, 4 replies, latest was 6 days ago)
which actor opposed the formation of Cedric Bixler-Zavala and Omar Rodriguez-López's new band after the break-up of At The Drive-In?
Contra Volta
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 1 Jul 2026, 8:13, Reply)
which actress asserts her right to reside in the face of objections from a testicle-less user of prostitutes?
I Live Here, Neutered-John
(piss and shit, Wed 1 Jul 2026, 7:21, Reply)
Which actress can neuter 3600 dogs per minute?
Sixty Spaysec.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 30 Jun 2026, 13:00, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)
what palace is made of a fuckload of pork?
Ham Ton Court Palace
(piss and shit, Mon 29 Jun 2026, 20:23, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)
Which famous play is about a little bit of pork?
Hamlet
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 29 Jun 2026, 16:55, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)
Which Scottish person tastes a bit like pork?
Hamish.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Sat 27 Jun 2026, 8:26, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)
Which actress is famous for making lesbian watersports films?
Pissy Gaysex!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 22 Jun 2026, 20:10, Reply)
which actress takes up the same volume as a single gram of water at 3.98°c
cc spacek*

*SI units have deprecated the use of cc in favour of cm³ but that wouldn't have worked for this frankly abysmal pun
(piss and shit, Mon 22 Jun 2026, 13:16, Reply)
Which actress can neuter 60 dogs per minute?
Sissy Spaysec.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 22 Jun 2026, 11:43, Reply)
Who is the most valuable actress of all time?
Sissy SpaceX.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Fri 19 Jun 2026, 13:58, Reply)
An economist is in a lift
He says "if trends continue, we should reach the moon by Tuesday!"
(I helped save b3ta! Fitznicely into a thimble, Thu 18 Jun 2026, 12:41, 2 replies, latest was 3 weeks ago)
What pop singer/songwriter is dense, chewy and typically made with egg whites, sugar, and shredded coconut?
Paddy Macaroon
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 17 Jun 2026, 22:25, Reply)
What type of arthritis that causes sudden, severe joint pain is sometimes caused by the manufacture of factory-made components or units that are transported and assembled on-site to form the complete building?
Prefab Gout
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Wed 17 Jun 2026, 7:38, Reply)
When is a joke not a joke?
Right now.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Wed 17 Jun 2026, 3:26, Reply)
Which Charles Dickens novel tells the story of a man who had a fantastic talent for coughing up large amounts of phlegm?
Great Expectorations.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Sat 13 Jun 2026, 20:40, Reply)
What hot chocolate and banana drink can you find at the back of a wardrobe?
Banania
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 12 Jun 2026, 18:17, Reply)
What hot drink can you find in a wardrobe?
A cupboard tea
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Fri 12 Jun 2026, 7:37, Reply)
Which Charles Dickens novel tells the tale of a sexual predator who loved to grab women's boobies?
David Cop-a-feel.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Thu 11 Jun 2026, 19:52, 3 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)
I can't stop buying books I never read.
I have literally no shelf control.
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Thu 11 Jun 2026, 13:38, Reply)
I asked my vegetarian Scots Gaelic friend what the tubular dish he was eating for his tea was
"isbean" came the reply
(piss and shit, Tue 2 Jun 2026, 13:40, 6 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)
I've invested in a load of German sausages but one of them is ill-mannered and annoying.
It's a bratwurst.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 2 Jun 2026, 8:35, 3 replies, latest was 6 weeks ago)
I've invested in a load of German sausages but I'm worried they won't sell and will all end up sitting around in boxes
Of course, that's a wurst case scenario
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 1 Jun 2026, 20:52, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)
What does a really small Ork say?
Find the tenthling!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 1 Jun 2026, 14:55, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)

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