Bee hatch
Well, my bird, now ex-bird, told me she was leaving. I kind of knew the old "I need some space" tale was a crock as she was already seeing someone else behind my back. She, however, wanted to stay living in my house while she sorted out digs. So, unknown to her, I took to p*ssing in her drinks, wiping my knob-smeg on cutlery she was using as well as her toothbrush, jizzing in her food while she was out of the room, putting jizz in her toothpaste and the ubequitous cleaning my boss-end and rectal areas with her toothbrush.

I also burned random items of her clothing while she was out. And torched the furniture she left behind, which was most satisfying, having rammed the two old lady armchairs FULL of aerosol cans. How my brothers and I laughed as the unemployable midget's furniture rained down on my next door neighbour's washing.

It was all for the best I realise now, as I now have a "real" woman as opposed to a 28 year old with the mentality of a pre-pubescent. Which is nice.
(mashman99, Wed 4 May 2005, 12:58, Reply)