Not just shit
There are many reasons why I don't use public transport. Main reason is because it's dirty, smelly, unreliable and lets face it, the car is much better and efficient. But there are other reasons. Such as this...

Had to travel down to london for the weekend. Usually would drive but was going to a gig on the sunday night and so would be drunk - thought the train would be the sensible option. Got on the train and settled down for the fun journey.

Began quietly - despite setting off from Huntingdon (will be lovely when they finish it). Passed through all the stations without incident until we reached Stevenage at about 9pm.

Hell. Fire.

Normally I would drive - and driving down the A1 past Stevenage is usually great fun, dodging all the "souped up" Corsas and the like (honestly, its like they drive through Halfords with a magnet on the car. Downlighters on a fiesta? Fucksakes). However, I was in a train and got to experience the joys of the locals first hand. A few scratters and sundry chavs got on, then "she" got on. Must have been about 16. Slightly overweight. Was poured into an ill-advised white dress that managed to be too low cut and too short, displaying a lack of bra and a very small thong when she sat down. Absolutely wasted, and yet was still swigging from a bottle of blue WKD. Being helped by her mates, she wobbled over to a seat near and facing me. I tried to ignore the group and concentrate on what was playing on my ipod, but couldn't help but notice when she passed out and proceeded to achieve the "triple crown".

That is she pissed herself. Then shat herself (copiously), the smell of which woke her up and made her throw up.

As I say, I hate public transport.
(animal252 last activated his kitten hammer on, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 23:56, Reply)