Ah Dp...
In three hours I'll be singing and trying to kiss policemen....

Maybe next time.. (Shame actually, as a night out with DP would be like a return to my youth....)
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:11, Reply)

I like peas.
I like peas.
( insignificantsnivellinglittleturd I Like Peas, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:10, Reply)

Pay my train fare and I'm 3 hours away!
Please?
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:09, Reply)

No pinching
My synth is very big and heavy (42kg). You wouldn't be able to run far wih it!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:09, Reply)

Bugger
Some inconsiderate bastard has decided to top themsleves somewhere near Durham resulting in my fucking train back home to the Glorious North being either cancelled, delayed or fucked-up beyond all measure. So I'll get a flight I think. Shouldn't be too much.

"What? 217 quid? You're having a fucking laugh" I told BA's fuckwits.

So. I'm now stuck in fucking London for another fucking night. 6 fucking months I've done down here - you get less for manslaughter - and today was my last fucking day in this contract and therefore my last day in fucking London.

Right. I'm going to go and get drunk. Anyone in the Hanwell/Ealing area want to come for a few beers? I'll buy. I'd rather give the money to B3tans than BA.

Cheers.
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:08, Reply)

Oh, it has its benefits!
You'd not get as much as you would for gold if you sold it though!
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:03, Reply)

Awww
Thanks DP, worth it's weight in gold...
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:02, Reply)

I don't know about a sunthesiser in the uk,
all i can offer you is my love!
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:02, Reply)

For *my* birthday
I would like a sunthesiser.

Please. 10th September (make a note).
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 16:01, Reply)

the joke
but i'll steal the workplace synthesiser if it's valuable and portable
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:59, Reply)

what
the joke or the workplace synthesiser?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:58, Reply)

Very funny
I will be stealing it!
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:56, Reply)

BGB
So your mother was named after a workstation synthesiser too?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:56, Reply)

Excellent
I laughed. Not out loud, but an internal giggle so my boss wouldn;'t hear.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:56, Reply)

Thanks all!
Still no qotw yet though!
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:56, Reply)

For K2k6: Was re-watching Sopranos the other day and someone told this one...
Two men -- one rich, one poor -- are in a department store, Christmas shopping. They get to talking, and the rich guy says,

"Look here, I just bought my wife two presents. I bought her this diamond bracelet, and also a top-of-the-line Mercedes."

The poor guy asks, "Why'd you buy the car? Isn't the bracelet enough?"

"It's so that if she doesn't like the bracelet she can just drive into town and choose a different one."

The poor guy replies, "That's funny, I also bought my wife two presents. I bought her these slippers, and also a vibrator."

The rich guy asks, "Why'd you buy her a vibrator?"

"So if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."

..bada bing.
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:54, Reply)

Ohhhhhh!
Disasterprone -

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
You look like a monkey
And you smell like one too
( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:53, Reply)

Are we
nearly there yet?

[edit] Happy Belated Birthday DP
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:52, Reply)

Dear b3ta
Please may I have a new QOTW with potential for humour and embarrassment for my birthday. My birthday was 3 days ago, so hurry the fuck up!

Love and kisses

DP

xxxxx

If anyone is bored and wants to hear about me making a twat of myself and having adventures, see the link in my sig!
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:49, Reply)

Hmmmmm!
K2 - thats an interesting name - that was my mothers name - bats eyelashes.

Boooooooooooored!
( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:47, Reply)

So..
...the nights are fairly drawing in, eh?

[twiddles thumbs]

Anyone heard any good jokes recently?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:43, Reply)

My brothers mate
woke up with no recollection of the night before, looked in the mirror and found he had big deep scratches down his face and was covered in blood. Looking round his room, in the corner was a dead squirrel.
( DumbMonkey The penis mightier than the sword, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:35, Reply)

on topic
I'll be pissing in b3ta's wardrobe if another QOTW doesn't appear soon.
(frankspencer, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:31, Reply)

Scary
Years ago I had a girlfriend who came from a large dysfunctional family. As a result she lived with her elderly aunt and uncle in a large old fashioned house in the countryside. A side effect of her broken home was sleep walking and night terrors which could be quite upsetting for her and rather unsettling for anyone with her.

On a rare occasion her ancient Aunt & Uncle went away so we slept together alone in the old house. At about 3am I woke and noticed she wasn't in bed. As I rubbed my eyes and looked around the dimly lit room I picked out a still, silhouetted figure watching me.

Liz was fully dressed in a smart work suit sitting at the antique dressing table, illuminated by a small lamp, staring right at me with a cold, dead expression.

My blood still runs cold just typing this after over 20 years.
(Cane: I love Sushi, Sobriety & Shotokan, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:24, Reply)

Red Arrows
Flew past our office on purpose to give us a dedicated fly-by on the way to an air show.
The message that they were coming was missed so no one bothered to look out the window.

We save looking out the window for Friday.
( Weejock, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:19, Reply)

Back on topic
I don't live in Fulham either.
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:18, Reply)

Tuesdays
I have a girlfriend in America. In a break from tradition, it is not monday morning that I am exhausted from the weekend. It is in fact tuesday because monday night is when I stay up til 4am on the phone to her (and thursday/friday) and on tuesday mornings it is not unknown for me to have absolutely no memory of the hours between 5am and 10am. Thankfully (unfortunately?) I do still make it to work for 9 (managing to get on/off bus and have a cigerette too)

Is the thing about length obligatory?
(Teran Thinks Pogonophobia is funny, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:11, Reply)

last time i sleepwalked
i walked down the into the town centre and tried to cath the bus home.
At least thats what worried family members told me
(Big Ginge putting the laughter into manslaughter, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 15:00, Reply)

I was once sleepwalking and
walked from the South to the North, didn't notice, and walked back again and woke up in my bed.

* For the record, I live about 5 minutes away from the (oft disputed) exact centre of England.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 14:52, Reply)

bad enough that we are next to the airport
band practice tonight. that means beer and spliffs galore!

huzzah!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 30 Aug 2007, 14:52, Reply)