I'm sorry...
...but I don't think that the chap who knocked up his girlfriend and then made her have an abortion is really feels that guilty about it.

If he was, he wouldn't have deleted the apology.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 12:57, 1 reply)

We had a bit of a 90's fest
music wise before dinner tonight - Jesus Jones, NIN, PWEI, Severed Heads, Primal Scream, Carter USM etc.

I was rolling over in bed just then & I said to the missus - "What time is Love?"
"3am Eternal" says she.
"That's when I have to catch the Last Train to Trancentral" I said.

*Not really sorry*
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 18 Jan 2013, 12:40, 30 replies)

Sorry
for breathing when you were on your period.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 12:28, 3 replies)

Sorry about my brother everyone.

(Legless is a prick., Fri 18 Jan 2013, 12:27, Reply)

I like those malt loaves with raisins and bits of apple in.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 12:24, Reply)

Dear Morgan Major...
I am so sorry that I deliberately piddled on your shoes after you had kicked me in the arse. I am doubly sorry that your housemaster saw fit to punish you for your misdemeanour. Even sorrier that you injured yourself when you sought revenge on the rugby pitch.

Yes, you were indeed a sorry bastard, even at age 13. You're probably doing tme now, and I'm sorry about that, too.

EDIT: Morgan Major was the senior of two brothers at boarding school. Git. I am amused to discover today that Morgan Major was also a kid's toy, described as a "handheld children's organ". Well, he was a prick to me.
(wertperch is losing his hair, marbles and patience., Fri 18 Jan 2013, 12:19, 2 replies)

I'm sorry
for buying the last 30 loaves of bread in Tesco.

It's just that I don't want the birds in my garden going hungry in this weather, and I think you and your kids are all cunts.

Love
MTC
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 12:18, Reply)

I'm sorry, so so sorry.
I've been a member on here for about 34 months apparently, and for all that time I've been living a lie-

I don't actually love horses, and I disagree that they are the best of all the animals.

Again, I can't apologise enough for this.

If it helps soften the blow, I do actually think that cats are cunts though, 100%, furry little bastards.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 12:17, Reply)

I'll give you sorry
I really hate people who use sorry inappropriately. For example as an excuse to barge past rather than saying 'excuse me' and waiting for me to move. Or when someone starts a sentence with 'Sorry but...' as if pre-empting with an apology makes it ok for them to act like an utter wrist.

Next time someone barges me whilst on the underground platform I will pre-empt pushing them under a train with a 'Sorry' because that obviously voids any bad behaviour.

HARUMPH.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 12:15, 3 replies)

Dear Legless
I'm sorry I upset you so much you felt the need to put me on 2.0.

Sincerely,

A Vagabond.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 12:10, 6 replies)

Back In 1977
Some mates of mine were stopped by security just before the went into a notorious bar. Due to some quick thinking, a little sleight of hand and some misdirection, they got past security without too many problems.

I'm sorry.

Those *were* the droids you'd been looking for.....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 12:00, 7 replies)

I'm sorry about the shit in your boiler, the cobras in the radiators and the death laser.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 11:56, 2 replies)

Sorry
Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like sorry like sorry

Forgive me
Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like forgive me forgive me


This is an apology to Tracy Chapman, one of my favorite singer-songwriters. In my 20's, I caught an interview on Parkinson where he was talking to a young black girl. She was sullen, uncooperative, monosyllabic and obviously didn't want to be there. After the interview, she sang "Fast Car" and I was blown away. But my first impression remained and was reinforced when I bought her album "Across The Lines".

"Across The Lines" was a brilliant album but all of the songs were full of anger, of despair, of the hopelessness of growing up in the ghetto. I had her pegged as a one-album wonder who would never get over her early years, never be happy and would probably kill herself through drink and drugs and the inability to handle her new-found riches due to inexperience.

"Across The Lines" has always been on my music playlist but I didn't really keep track of her career after that. Then, one night, I was idly chasing music through YouTube when I came across this:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Orv_F2HV4gk


Tracy around 2007.

I don't think I've ever been happier to be so wrong about someone. She's big, black, dread-locked and her smile just radiates contentment. Whatever has happened to her over the years has ended up with someone who's in exactly the place she needs to be in.

I doffs my hat.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 11:48, 15 replies)

Dear Russel
I'm sorry I punched you in the gut in 1st year forcing you to double over in pain. I'm sorry for then thumping you on the back of the neck so you fell to the floor.

I was such a short kid and you were so tall. I was jealous.

I'm sorry you decided to take your own life a few years later so I was never able to apologise in person.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 11:11, Reply)

I would probably be best if you were to sit down for this. I’ll confess and apologize, but you have to promise not to get angry if I do. I’m not going to sugar-coat this. It’s bad, really bad, but you have to swear that you won't get mad when I tell you, because if you get upset and yell about how you're really disappointed in me, I'm just not going to say anything.

All right, here we go.

There’s no easy way to put this, so get ready, because here it comes.

If you get all huffy, you will be the one at fault, not me. It’s really not that big a deal. I’m only human, you know? And anyway, who are you to judge? Are you perfect? Can you really cast the first stone?

You still want an apology? Wow, you’re not making this easy for me. Not easy at all.

Well, here goes. I... I...

You know what? Forget it. I don’t have to do this. You're not better than me, and I don't have to do this. Just forget it.

Sincerely,

-- Lance A.
(Roving Blowtorch, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 10:53, 2 replies)

Dear Dad
Sorry I'm such an utter disappointment.

Yours,

Everyone on B3ta.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 10:51, 3 replies)

circa 1981
Mr. Giovanni Didomenico, grade 10 head bogan.

Sorry I never punched your fucking lights out. You cunt
( Ken Oath, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 10:46, Reply)

I'm sorry I took the money
www.youtube.com/watch?v=21Xm9dUXr_c
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 10:34, 1 reply)

Sorry I took the job.
I was unemployed and thought it might be a good idea. It wasn't and I hate it here and I know I'm crap at whatever it is you think you want me to be doing.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 10:23, Reply)

Sorry I was late this morning
It's snowing and the tube is a fucking nightmare
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 10:15, 1 reply)

I'm sorry you were all born with an extra chromosome

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Dear Nazis
Sorry about that.

Yours,

The French Occupation Resistance Movement in the 1940s
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 9:20, 4 replies)

Dear Mum & A&E Nurses
Sorry for faking stomach pains at school that forced you to take me to hospital.

I really didn't want to do that maths test.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 9:19, Reply)

I'm sorry you didn't stay about from my bins.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 8:53, 1 reply)

My brother and I used to apologise for EVERYTHING
Like, if we moved aside to let someone walk past on the pavement, we'd apologise. If we wanted someone to move out of the way so we could get past we'd apologise. If we sang a wrong note in choir we'd apologise.

One day my mum took us aside and tried to explain the nuances of the legal system to us. "If you say sorry, you're saying it's your fault, and then that person can sue you. If you don't say sorry it's not your fault."

My brother went up to a school bully and kicked him in the crotch, then ran off shouting, "It's not my fault, I didn't say soooorrryyyyy!"
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 23:59, 5 replies)

I'm sorry that ring of fire / ringofyre got upset on the internet and deleted his thread.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 21:33, 14 replies)