final year of uni
my twunt house mate got me to do his dissertation for him while he fucked my girlfriend he failed anyway.
(Jazz Bloke Music has charms to soothe the savage breast, Thu 24 May 2007, 15:19, Reply)

I performed a random act of kindness and for my efforts was snubbed in return
That was the level of gratitude I received for my actions.

...

No wait; that's wrong...
( IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis most likely working from home on, Thu 24 May 2007, 15:12, Reply)

An age-old tale...
Boy meets girl.

Girl is broken.

Boy fixes girl, in the process turning down many a proposition from ladies of loose morals.

Boy and girl act on their mutual attraction and shag for a while.

Girl suddenly becomes ultrachristian and condemns boy to hell, before spiraling into a cycle of suicide attempts, familial destruction and rampant self-hate.

Boy laughs cynically, carves another notch into his bedpost and drowns his sorrows.

Lesson learned: damaged goods aren't worth it, no matter how cheap they may seem.
(SurferRosa causing the lamentation of the womenfolk since, Thu 24 May 2007, 15:11, Reply)

Stale croissants...
Whilst in junior school, I had this friend who came from a family who, seemingly, didn't know about hygiene - their house always stank of piss. I was only friends with her cos she didn't have any other friends and neither did I. Anyway, her parents decided to go on holiday, and leave her with my family in return for payment for her living expenses when they got back.

So, the whole week, I had to share my room with this utter brat of a girl. We fought constantly. I'd be caught between her doing what she wanted to do and what my parents wanted us to do (and you'd better believe I was more scared of my parents). At one point we got into a massive fight, and at another, she decided that the floor mop was a great thing to wipe the food surfaces with.

Anyway, week of hell, her parents get back, thank god, and in return for her living expenses they present my parents with....a bag of stale croissants and a bottle of wine that tasted like vinegar. They probably cost about 20p from the hypermarché.
(firemasque, Thu 24 May 2007, 14:58, Reply)

Shitbag
During a lunch time stroll in my college days (eleventy hundred years ago) I lent a so called chum twenty quid so he could buy a computer game. "Don't worry" He said, "I've got the cash at home and I'll bring it in tomorrow"

He sure did. In pennies. And only about £17.78 which I only found out about after bagging up all of the change for the bank. When I said he should be changing up the cash he just smiled smugly at me and said "Sorry Mate, I don't think so".

Bastard.
( Smithlick is often seen at the bottom of threads, Thu 24 May 2007, 14:49, Reply)

True story
A few years ago when Live Aid was happening and there were milions dying in Ethiopia, I decided that giving a few pounds wasn't enough. So I went out there for a year to help build a hospital.

Long story short, I stayed in the vilage of Mutunga and helped reconsrtuct the local infrastructure, building the hospital and distributing food aid. I'd like to think I saved a few lives and gave the children some hope. I went home feeling that I'd done some real good.

Then three months after I'd returned, I heard that the school choir from Mutunga was doing a singing tour of Britain to raise money. Naturally, I bought my ticket and went along to the local venue to watch them sing. Imagine my surprise, then, when halfway through the performance the little bastards whipped out semi-automatic guns and made all the audience empty their valuables into black bags.

"Don't you remember me?" I pleaded. "I'm Frank! I built a hospital for you!"

But they kicked me in the nads and stole my car. Fuckers. Now when I eat a lovely meat pie and chips, I think about those starving kids and I hope they choke on sand.
(frankspencer, Thu 24 May 2007, 14:46, Reply)