wahey
my school has been cancelled today becuase there is no electricity....

right....my most treasured possesion is my Great Granfather's WW1 medals for bravery. He was an NCO for the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders.
(Foulkesy123 The one and only..., Mon 12 May 2008, 14:20, 5 replies)

My most treasured possession
Is the love of Mrs. Vagabond.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:59, Reply)

Close enough to topic
A good friend of mine was attending a University somewhere in the North when he was burgalarised by pirates or more likely charvers.

As the clean up operation began all of the house where in fairly good spirits as they had good insurance and everything of value could be replaced with newer and shinier goodies!

Suddenly from upstairs came a blood curdling scream! My friend had found that the dirty pirate charvers had stolen his prized possesion, the one thing that wasn't insured.

They had pinched his collection of European porn mags.

These were irreplacable as they had been collected over a long period of time and over vast distances. Also due to the nature of the Euro pick and mix pack o'porn he would never again be able to replicate it's sticky delights.

EDIT: The pick and mix pack o'porn is a wonderous thing where the outside magazine is full of the busty lovelies any red blooded male would expect, but tucked behind would often be transexuals from the seventies or bushy babes of the 80's.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:51, 5 replies)

Here's a bit of sentimentality
isaacrowntree.com/songs/my-most-treasured-possession/10

Thought I'd try something new for a change!
(satellite blows, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:24, 2 replies)

War Memorabilia
You may recall that during World War II there was something of a furore regarding a certain William Joyce, otherwise known as Lord Haw Haw. This chap was a rather unsavoury individual given to vociferously berating the good Jewish people of this country. On commencement of hostilities he fled the UK to Germany where he made numerous broadcasts on behalf of Herr Hitler’s regime with the intention of demoralising and destabilising the populace of the UK.

A little know fact of his sojourn in Germany is that for a long while he lived with a much younger man from the UK who had also fled to Germany as an alternative to internment. Although the Third Reich was vehemently opposed to homosexuality, it was overlooked for favoured sons and even within the SS there was a certain amount of borderline homo-erotic behaviour which was treated as “spirited horseplay”.

Now you may be thinking “Lord Haw Haw? Young male lover in Germany? Never heard the like!” Well, I happen to know it’s true. The reason being that when a young Porkylips started his first job with the then DHSS, I was sent to work in a rather small and secluded area which dealt with translation of German and Austrian birth certificates for benefit purposes. One of the old blokes who worked there was a quiet withdrawn chap who did his work and translated documents using his faultless German. Over time I got to know him and used to have lunch and talk about his life. He told me this story (and others). Yes, I worked on the traitor’s beaus section.

Length? Haw Haw was bloody well hung!
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 12 May 2008, 13:07, 3 replies)

Is it Thursday yet?
Me and some mates spent the entire weekend shoving gold Dubloons through peoples letter-boxes

It was a treasure post session.

(im not here thursday!)
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 12 May 2008, 12:33, 9 replies)

The other day
I saw some guy getting chased down the street by Princes William, Harry, Charles, Andrew and Edward all dressed up as cowboys, they then lynched the poor chap using only the finest silk rope

God knows what was going on but it certainly was an impressive posse of scions.

/heat and work makes halfy's brain fail
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 12 May 2008, 12:28, Reply)

changing possessions
Has anyone noticed, while thinking back, how quickly something that was once valuable loses its worth.

Maybe B3ta could run this question in a year and see how many of us covert completely different things.
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Mon 12 May 2008, 12:05, 4 replies)

Gosh! nearly forgot....
I'd save my sterling silver nipple clamps given to me by a great aunt who had them hand made in the 1930s. Why she thought I would appreciate them is anybodies guess.
( girlinthehole, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:33, 36 replies)

my cat
i'd fucking lock it inside. cure my hairballs, spews, shits and cat hair problems once and for all.
( Frumbert has no sig, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:18, Reply)

Fireproof Safe
An earlier post by Kaol has reminded me of this one.

Bit of a backstory, I work in the sales side of things for an IT firm and they are always trying to sell any old crap to clients, just to make a few more quid for the company. This is all company policy so it has to be done (I'm more of a friendly sales bod and will remove whatever I can).

When selling a brand new system we will include a shedload of kit not really needed such as alarms to stop the base units from being removed from the premises, way too many backup tapes, laptop trolleys, etc. Usually a few people will knock a few things off but the less IT savvy buy a lot of kit that is not really needed.

One thing we always included on the list when it came to a system install was a fireproof safe to store the hard copy of software licenses,backup tapes etc and make it easier for us to get their company up and running again (The fear of waiting a long time to get the network up and running as it should be really works on most people).

A few years back I was in the office when an irate customer called up to tell us his office had been torched in the night (name witheld to protect myself).

Turns out that the safes we sold were fireproof but that didn't stop the safe itself heating up. The temperature inside was so high that the plastic backup tapes inside melted, these in turn ruined a number of important papers that were also inside the safe underneath the tapes. Thank god they took the previous nights backup tape home with them.

The company I work for also made a shitload from the insurance firm by replacing the entire fire damaged network. Twats.
(mon bison powered by magnets, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:18, 6 replies)

My Penguin
I rediscovered when avoiding studying tidying at the weekend a small squeezy penguin a friend once gave me for my birthday.

It's brightly coloured with a strange expression on it's face.

He is like some sort of brother to me, and should therefore be saved. Also, because he is awesome.

He is currently wearing a hat. He looks so cool.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 12 May 2008, 10:43, 64 replies)

After this weekend
I want to add my Garden as another brilliant possession.

BBQ with mates, paddling pool, sun loungers, beer and a Girlfriend who feels comfortable enough to walk around in attire that would make a james bond beauty blush.

Long live the Great British Garden

*holds hand to chest and looks at the flag and badly mimes the national anthem
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Mon 12 May 2008, 10:27, Reply)

An empty medicine bottle
Are you sitting comfortably (yes, that also includes you with the badly-positioned remote-controlled butterfly strap-on)? Then I'll begin...

Once when going on an Inter-Rail journey, I was heading towards the town of Strasbourg. While on the train as it trundled along the Marne Valley, I noticed my skin was breaking out in a rash. At first, it seemed like just a discolouration of the skin, but by the time my train had arrived, it was getting painful. After I dumped my stuff at the youth hostel, I thought it would be wise to see a doctor. The doctor was unlike my regular doctor back home. He always seemed to know what he was talking about. I was told that I had contracted a very rare form of a rash that would become extremely painful. Thankfully, there was a cure. He gave me a medicine that was manufactured jointly by a French and a German company. "Take this", he said. "Your layers of skin will be completely replaced and the rash will be gone". "It might hurt a bit, but trust me, it's for the better". Feeling slightly nervous, but with my full confidence in the doctor, I downed the entire contents of the medicine bottle. My layers of skin were starting to be eaten away. It kind of scared me seeing my skin disintegrate but I had a very strong faith in the doctor. That was my most reassured peaux essen.

Next stop on my journey was Amsterdam. Having your skin being eaten away is a somewhat painful experience. I saw a doctor who prescribed me a local painkiller. I immediately took the first pill. "Ahhhh! The relief!" It was only when on the train to Prague that I realised I had forgotten to ask how often I needed to take a pill. The instructions were entirely in Dutch, but it was full of numbers so I thought I could figure it out. However, when I looked at the serial number, there was a string of three consecutive '6's. I am not a devil worshipper and in no way do I intend to become one. In Prague, I asked my Czech tour guide (who did not speak English but spoke French) where to dispose of this unholy numeric string. He recommended ripping off the serial number and dumping my Dutch '6's off a certain bridge (he didn't know the French word for bridge). The bridges in Prague were numbered from 1 to 15 so I asked him which one. "Most treize c'est pour zessen"

By now, things were beginning to get better. I checked my e-mail, and lo and behold, there was one from 'Veronica'. She was inviting me to come visit her in her home country. She was looking for a new boyfriend and was inviting several candidates to take part in a competition to win her love. "Excellent timing!" thought I and jumped on the train from Prague. I arrived at a large river where we were instructed to start some process of land-reclamation by planting trees. The winner was to be the person who planted the most trees. Trees are a right bugger to plant in the middle of a flowing river, but nevertheless, I managed about 20 in one afternoon. Alas, I was not the winner, but it was certainly my most enjoyable “most trees su Po” session.

Writing this, I feel as if my mind has been taken over by foreign-language speakers. This has made me write a lovely post for this week's QOTW. That was my most treasured possession. Fin.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 12 May 2008, 10:21, 4 replies)

All this talk of burning
Has given me two thoughts.

The first is "Why don't I make or get a fire-proof box and keep all my valuable things in it".
Can you even get such a thing? I have no idea.


The second is "Maybe making Molotov cocktails in my kitchen this weekend was a bad idea".

Anyone want to come over and set things on fire?
( Cawl, Mon 12 May 2008, 10:07, 72 replies)

Fire!
If there was a fire at my house I would happily sit back and watch it burn, this is because I have 3 kids all under the age of 6 so any items I own that have any sentimental value have already been ruined.

(sobs)
(mon bison powered by magnets, Mon 12 May 2008, 9:44, 4 replies)

You've got to be joking me.
Fire extinguisher. Twunts.
(Phaedron Dizzying epiphanies from the bottom of my pint., Mon 12 May 2008, 8:23, Reply)

The QOTW of doom....
I know someone posted about this type of thing happening to them sometime in the last few weeks, but I can't be arsed to spend hours looking through old QOTWs to find the original.....however, kudos to whoever originally brought this subject up. (I think it was in the most recent shit stories though)

What do I speak of? Why the interesting phenomenon of life mirroring the QOTW. ie: an increase in frequency of poo during the shit stories week, being overrun by children during kids week, a building falling on you the week DIY was discussed.

So how is this relevant you ask. Well, I'll tell you. This week a great number of people have said they would rescue their computer / hard drive / external drive / laptop / computer related hardware (delete as appropriate) from a fire as their most treasured possession. As someone suffering from what I have come to call "The QOTW Syndrome" (just not ever with humorous results to give me a great story to post), I have lived the last few days in fear that I would come home to a huge ball of flames in place of my abode.

Thankfully this has not happened (insert appropriate superstitious activity to keep this potential tragedy at bay). Sadly though, my computer flipped out today while downloading music and it wiped my hard drive. When I turned this lovely machine back on, it had reverted to it's original state. That's right....I lost all pics, music, games, programs, internet links....every fucking thing.

So, was I mad? Hell yes I was....for about 5 minutes. Then I pulled out my handy-dandy travel drive where I had most of the computer backed up, started downloading software, and began the hunt for old internet favorites.

And now I must ask a favor of b3tards everywhere......does anyone have a vaccine for this syndrome?
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Mon 12 May 2008, 4:52, 7 replies)

My father's ring
he won it shooting craps in the Philippines at the end of World War II. I have almost nothing else from him (thanks for fucking nothing, mom...) so I treasure the hell out of that ring.
( HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Sun 11 May 2008, 22:42, 1 reply)

Certainly not the beowulf DVD

I have just borrowed as it is shit, hence why I'm on the internet!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sun 11 May 2008, 22:07, Reply)

Not as 'ard as I like to think it would seem
Thinking about this question this week I decided that most of my stuff could burn, assuming that the other half, kid and cat were safe.

However, I would like to rescue a few things from my childhood on reflection:

* A care-bear my dad bought me when I was about 3/4. As mentioned in a previous QOTW my dad was a bit of a wanker, and this is the only present he ever actually bought for me as a child (we saw him rarely and birthdays were usually celebrated with a phonecall advising that there was a tenner in my bank account for when I was older or some such shite).

* Pictures of my nanna. My nanna was quite simply ace. I'll tell you more about her in another more relevant QOTW, but I will want these photo's when I'm older and the memories are a bit less fresh.

* My nanna's christmas tree decorations. My nanna was crazy about Christmas, worse than any kid I've ever known, she had this extreme level of excitement from October every year, and had a large number of outdoor light up figures and such. She also had the same little wooden tree decorations on the tree every year for as long as I can remember. When she died we all got given one of the outdoor figures and some of the tree decorations. Putting the tree up now reminds me of that insane excitement.

The last item is not in my house sadly but one day I'll get it back. When I was in the last year of school I was living with my nanna for various reasons too lengthy to go into here, but she made me try at school (I hadn't been doing so for some time LOL). My final piece of art coursework consisted of a 13 week long project. I had just discovered the music of Bob Marley and the smoking of weed, so decided I would do a large charcoal drawing of the great Bob Marley for my final piece. I worked really hard, and I dragged my final grade up from a D to a B with it. It went on display in the hall at the end of the year, and then my mam asked for it for her room. It's still there now. It's this that means the most to me, she's still got in on show, some 12 years later. I'd hate to lose it, and ask her to give it back every now and again (she always refuses though).
(flyme, Sun 11 May 2008, 22:04, Reply)

my best friend's mug.
it says "50% cute, 50% bitch" on it.
her boyfriend gave it to me when she was killed in a car accident six years ago. it was her favourite mug, she would never let anyone else but me use it. it means a hell of a lot to me.

if i had enough time, i'd also rescue my autographed Terry Pratchett books.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 11 May 2008, 19:58, 12 replies)

My clown
I would save Clown, my loyal knitted rag doll since birth. Fuck the family or the dogs.
(badfox1 wonders who he's played by this episode on, Sun 11 May 2008, 18:54, 2 replies)

Gone a bit quiet on here, hasn't it?
Did everybody fail to save their computers from a blazing house fire or something..?






Yes, I know, the sun is shining and most of the UK except Wigan is in the grip of a heatwave. And also, people do have lives, with, it seems, the exception of rachelswipe who appears to be at work. What are you thinking, woman? Get to the pub, now! That's an order!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 11 May 2008, 18:19, 18 replies)

Timewaster
I just read the whole damn thread so far. I have assessed scripting work on Tuesday for Uni, I have an incredibly messy room to tidy, I missed watching a thunderstorm outside and I should be working on the game I'm helping develop (yay me, instaplug: www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/387592 was the flash version to get the idea out there, up for Game of the Year on Newgrounds).

The only thing that seems precious to me after this immense waste of time (apart from my Natalie, I'm at a loss when she's ten yards away from me, let alone lost to a fire...) is time itself.

We waste SO MUCH time in today's society, be it the interwebs or just sitting around doing nothing. I cannot remember where I heard it, but I always remember an analogy that was used to demerit the smoking of pot. It makes you ok with being bored, and this is the time that you should be spending learning a new skill or developing relationships etc.

Time is so precious and we seem to spend an awful lot of it doing sweet fuck all. I'm half way through tidying up now, done a bit of scripting and my missus is ok, just text her. I'm trying to make better use of my time and so should you all.

TLDR: My missus or my Ibanez Jem 7VWH
(knifeh and Mrs Knifeh discovered radioactive bacon!, Sun 11 May 2008, 16:33, 2 replies)

Laporida
I would have to say the Jessica Rabbit I bought my missus last week. As I mentioned in a QOTW previously, I'm a lazy cunt so keeping her happy with mechanical means allows me to just hold the thing in place whilst she does all the work.
That coupled with the vibrating bullet I rescued from an old device means she's happy maybe 2 or 3 times in 30mins and I get an enthusiastic handjob (or more) with precious little effort on my behalf.

However, it would kill the moment if it caught fire.

Ladies, buy a cheap latex vibe. split it open and remove the vibrating pod. You will not believe how much of the energy the rubber actually absorbs rather than being channeled into the bald man in a boat.
When turned up, it's actually difficult to hold onto it because it's that strong.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sun 11 May 2008, 15:08, Reply)

air con
we spend most of the week at work whinging about how crap the air con is and how sweltering it is in our offices.

well.

now i am trying to work with the air con switched off altogether, i can say that even shit air con is the best invention ever. ugh. it's like my own private wet t-shirt contest in this sauna of an office.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 11 May 2008, 14:09, 8 replies)

A new cherished possession


This shirt always gets me confused glances when I wear it around downtown. Guess there aren't enough "Fawlty Towers" fans around here...

(And yes, I'll tell you where I got it: www.cafepress.com/micto The image was created by our very own b3tard, mictoboy. Go support one of our fellows!)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 11 May 2008, 13:49, 2 replies)