piss on my face
i'd just got back into the house after the lad's boozy weekend in the lakes to find my girlfriend in a huge mood - as we didnt live in the same country at the time, she'd made a surprise visit, let herself in, and stewed the whole weekend in her own anger juices whilst i'd drank myself silly. naturally i hadn't called, so this was a major crime scene.

so i come in, and i get the "we need to talk" screamed at me. not wanting to argue, only needing a pee and a good sleep, i grunted a reply and wandered off to the toilet, which just made her worse.

so i was having a piss, with the door locked and her shouting at me from the outside. suddenly she kicks it in, and starts screaming at me. the conversation proceeded hence:

me: I'm trying to have a piss

her (screaming): you! piss? piss? oh! piss on my face!

cue huge snort of laughter from my pal who'd just come in and caught the end of the argument. 8 years later and we're happily married, but she's never lived it down.
(big fat lazy man on a sofa is giving his piles a bloody good clawing, Sun 22 Apr 2007, 9:39, Reply)