When I were a wee boy...
... I had to travel from the Sun back to Earth. Me and my good friends, Gilgadesh and Krakilowa, were racing for the express ship, which would have taken about a quarter of an hour to complete the journey.

Alas for me, as the conductor shouted his "All aboard!" while it was still a distance away!

Gilgadesh and Krakilowa, wisely, activated their hyper-boost shoes, which, although extremely useful, are about as asthetically pleasing as a peeled face, and just about as comfortable to wear. They quickly accelerated away from me and onto the ship.

The doors shut with the hiss of hydraulics, and through the portal I saw them both whip around to look out as they realised I was not there. I was close enough to batter on the door for a fraction of a second before the ship accelerated to near enough half light speed and shot away.

Even if I had known when the next ship was due, I didn't nearly have enough money to pay the fare to Earth, and so, instead, I set off walking.

Now, you may or may not know, that if a constant, average walking speed is maintained, it takes approximately one thousand and six years to walk the distance between the star you know as Sol and the Earth.

Unfortunately, I walk below the average walking speed, I did not walk constantly (having often spent time asleep, eating or using the toilet) and I did not take the direct route back, as I decided to stop off at Mercury and Venus on the way.

By the time I did reach Earth, my entire civilisation had fallen and a whole new one had risen up to take up it's place on Earth.
Fortunately, for myself, this new species looked very similar to my species (two arms, two legs, one head; it's a good design), and I was able to integrate myself into it's society with relative ease.

Well, that's my story, and if you ever meet anyone called Gilgadesh or Krakilowa, let me know, as it'd be nice to see a few friendly faces again.
(tero if I had a website, this is where I would plug it, Thu 7 Sep 2006, 13:45, Reply)