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This Week:
* ORGAN - Prince Charles loves pipes
* TAT - Mobile phone hip flask
* TUNE - Minor chords to major

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving the webs
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |     to make a website 
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|   about interesting webs"

B3ta email 563  - 18 Jan 2013

Read this issue whilst wanking on a sock:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue563 

   Sub :  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
   Dom : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
  Pipes, Candles & P Diddy

  >> Prince Charles Pipes <<
  "Charlie loves a big organ," double entendres
  Swede Mason. The more you listen to this track,
  the weirder Charles sounds - and the more common
  the next voice you hear, including your own.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Pipes


  >> Candle puzzle <<
  What happens when you burn the candle at both
  ends? Any ideas? "A nice puzzle that you can
  easily set up yourself with a candle and a few
  bits and bobs," writes Nicholas Harrigan. This
  level of infectious enthusiasm is impossible to
  fake.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Candle_puzzle


  >> P Diddy appreciates... <<
  A sophisticated guy, Diddy deserves this
  automated tumblr to document his varied tastes.
  "Today P Diddy is appreciating something
  delicious, but probably unlikely," informs
  shardcore.
http://diddyappreciates.tumblr.com/post/40675279169


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: AMAZON TAT
  The shit they sell and the reviews you write

  * MOBILE PHONE FLASK - if you're an alcoholic
  who wants to put a kick in your pint then why
  not buy a flask in the style of an old Nokia
  phone? Classy.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B007MP01X2/b3ta-21 


  * COMMUNION WAFERS BOX OF 1,000 - this for the
  trollish reviews, "These little beauties are
  perfect for the dieter. Order several boxes of
  Jesus, and He'll help you out with that
  unsightly double chin, just as you prayed!"
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0805470859/b3ta-21


  * PhD "LOLS" - Imagine the giggling oceanography
  academics who got to name this book:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0444415742/b3ta-21 


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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  Saying the unsayable
  
  Last week we wanted to know when you'd been
  forced to say what everyone thinks, but isn't
  saying. Because you are all such gentle flowers:
http://b3ta.com/questions/sayingtheunsayable/

  * "Careful Where You Stand" - "Bloke I used to
  work with ponged a bit and, as the only other
  man in the office, I was nominated to find a
  quiet moment: 'Adam, sorry to say it, but your
  feet really smell bad.' A:'I think that's my
  trousers, actually.' 'Oh, right. Well your
  trousers smell bad then.' A:'They would, I've
  been wearing them for about a month.' 'Would you
  consider changing them, then?' A:'Alright. I'll
  wear a fresh pair tomorrow.' 'OK, good. Because
  people have noticed and there's been a few
  complaints from the girls. And it is fair
  enough, to be honest.' A:'I don't really care
  what the girls think. Some of them are quite
  bitchy.' Me:'In what way?' A:'They keep saying I
  smell.'" (SnowyTheRabbit)
  
  * "A Message" - "I had a long train journey down
  to London with the boyfriend. We'd just settled
  down in our reserved seats when I started to
  realise someone in the carriage had really bad
  B.O. It was quite a quiet train and not wanting
  to offend anybody, I wasn't sure how to suggest
  to my boyfriend that I thought we should move as
  it stank. I was sure he could smell the
  offending odour. I hit upon a brainwave: I'll
  write it on my phone and show him. I quickly
  typed out, 'Stinks in here. Someone has bad B.O.
  Shall we move carriages?' and showed him. This
  is the point when he said in a rather loud voice
  'BO?' (pronouncing it BO as in BO' Selecta)
  'What's BO? Who has BO?', at which point I went
  bright red and slid far, far down into my train
  seat..." (tiddlywink)
  
  * "Warning Sign" - "I quite like Coldplay. Whew,
  it's a relief to finally get that off my chest."
  (moon monkey)


  >> This Week - SORRY <<
  With Tesco taking out full page adverts to
  apologise for selling us ponyburgers, now is the
  time for us all to say Sorry. Write a letter of
  apology to someone who deserves it here:
http://b3ta.com/questions/sorry/


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  >> Major scaled <<
  Classic songs, digitally reworked from minor key
  to major. Inappropriately cheery.
http://vimeo.com/majorscaledtv


  >> The Cold War dollhouse <<
  Marketed during the Cuban Missile Crisis of
  1962, this children's toy has a slightly
  heart-wrenching faithfulness to reality.
http://bit.ly/WmTi3m


  >> Parcel for Mr. Assange <<
  Interesting experiment - mailing a remote camera
  to Wikileaks founder Julian Assange, documenting
  every step of the journey. How many levels of
  security does Assange's post have to pass
  through? Will the camera make it to the man
  himself?
http://archive.is/lIwe8 


  >> Game developers' hidden messages <<
  Data hidden in the ROM of retro computer games;
  like a time capsule of young programmers
  bragging, birth announcements, complaints and
  office gossip from 20 years ago. Genuinely
  fascinating.
http://bit.ly/ZRkWuO


  >> Death Row meals <<
  Photographer recreates prisoners' final meals in
  his apartment. Morbidly fascinating. Is there so
  much fried food because it's comforting or
  because you can finally stop worrying about your
  cholesterol?
http://bit.ly/VluCd9


  >> WTF Evolution? <<
  Tumblr blog takes nature to task, with examples
  of its questionable taste and competence. Yeah!
  Stick it to the man!
http://wtfevolution.tumblr.com/


  >> Waxy melt-groin tights <<
  Pretty much what it says in the title; these
  leggings make it look as if you're dripping wax
  down your thighs. Fashion, huh?
http://bit.ly/ScC62G

&#8207;
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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  Like TV but w/o the Julie Burchill lynch mob
  
  * MOON HOAX REBUTTAL - Although the author has
  no way of knowing if anyone has been to the
  Moon, he knows that in 1969 they couldn't have
  faked the video. Worth sticking around for the
  final point at the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGXTF6bs1IU


  * EXTREME SPORTS KITTENS - GoPro seem quite
  voguish at the moment; a sports camera that can
  be attached to anything. Last week it was a
  trombone and this week it's playing with
  kittens. Now stick one on your tummy and film a
  FPS where the weapon is a penis.
http://bit.ly/Vb4BQy 


  * LIVE-ACTION SHOT-BY-SHOT RECREATION OF TOY
  STORY - simply extraordinary level of work and
  what a way to really get a hang of film making.
  (We recommend 17:30 as a timestamp.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5G0j_Huv2Fg 


  * I'M A DOG AND I LIKE SOCKS - metal and
  ridiculous lyrics - reminds us of something
  Andrew K might have written.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Im_a_dog_and_I_like_socks


  * TRUST FAIL - fall and I'll catch you. Oh.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Trust_Fall


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: FRIDAY GAME
  Physics Pacman
  
  Wouldn't normally link to a downloady game but
  the idea is so neat - a version of Pacman where
  you rotate the maze and drop him onto the
  ghosts. Watch the video:
http://stabyourself.net/notpacman/


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the British Empire Challenge

  Last week we wanted you to imagine that Britain
  still had a vast, important Empire.

  Your favourites included:
 
  * DADDY: fat wrestler causes havoc in
  meme-collision frenzy (barryheadwound)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10906695    
 
  * FILM: spectacular Britishness dominates Los
  Angeles skyline (alpaca) 
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10906767
  
  * LINGO: handy guide for foreigns touring the
  realm. Toodle Pip! (daveyclayton)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/10906703

  All these images, and the highest as voted by
  you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/empire/


  >> New challenge: Gay Robots <<
  This week's challenge is a two word challenge
  celebrating one thing: Gay Robots. Go wild.
  Challenge suggested by mictoboy.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/gay-robots/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * HELMSDEEP EAR-UPDATE - The latest on b3tan
  Helmsdeep's cochlear implant: "I'm hearing lots
  more stuff, but I'm having trouble understanding
  it in the way I used to... which is complicated."
http://wlmager.com/two-steps/


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If you
  are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * UKSNOT - Why should #uksnow have all the
  action? Build us a system to track rhinovirus
  infections across the UK by getting people to
  tweet their current #uksnot levels. Make maps
  with green goop over them.
  
  * A 25TH HOUR - One more hour a day would mean a
  happier newsletter team.
  
  * CLOTHES THAT NEVER NEED WASHING - isn't
  washing a bore?

  Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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    Pinches:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
    Punches:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
  Stevenson. Stuff sent in by ed siteman,
  mr___benn, ben dadds, &#8207;@jongomm, &#8207;@WightHot,
  @Matt_Muir, &#8207;@mattround, &#8207;@tomroyal, &#8207;@area,
  executiverocker, The Scrunt. Image challenge by
  Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Top
  tip via NoStrings.

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  TOP TIP:
  Make your own spider by gluing pubes to a raisin.

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