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[challenge entry] In affectionate remembrance of Australian cricket


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which died at the Sydney Crickey Ground on 7th January 2011. Deeply lamented by a large circle of sorrowing friends and acquaintances. R.I.P..

From the Ghosts! challenge. See all 216 entries (closed)

(champagnerocker, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:20, archived)
# Argh! Cricket!
Horrible! Take it away!
(I helped save b3ta! Christian's Bolt and Ski, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:30, archived)
# Bring it back.
Cricket is ace.
Now, hold this bat and defend yourself - and your stumps - while I throw this ball at you at roughly 100mph.
You'll work out where it's heading about 10 milliseconds before it shatters your ribs.
Or skull.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:37, archived)
# STOP MAKING CRICKET SOUND EXCITING
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:43, archived)
# This'll never work they always work out the amazing speed of tennis balls being shot at and the speed of some footballer's kick.
All irrelevant.
(I helped save b3ta! Christian's Bolt and Ski, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:45, archived)
# shooting tennis balls at footballers, now thats sport
(I helped save b3ta! Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:54, archived)
# /sponsors
(I helped save b3ta! Christian's Bolt and Ski, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:00, archived)
# And then clap quietly as the old people piss themselves
As one man bowls but no one gives a toss.
(I helped save b3ta! Christian's Bolt and Ski, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:43, archived)
# This is the other side of cricket, equally ace.
Stroll down to the ground on a Sunday, read the paper while nibbling on a variety of cheeses, cold meats, pickles etc, get slowly rat-arsed and occasionally contribute to a ripple of applause.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:53, archived)
# Well I'm not really too bitter. Though I was scarred as a lad by an old sod yelling at me for talking during one dull game at Headingley.
Rat-arsed is rat-arsed though I wouldn't mind that.
(I helped save b3ta! Christian's Bolt and Ski, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:59, archived)
# I feel your pain.
I was at a Warwickshire game roughly 20 years ago,
and a bucket came round. They were making a collection for Gladstone Small, who was retiring at the end of the season.
I said - too loudly - "What? Are they gonna buy him a neck?"
I was dead pleased with myself for half a second, until the chorus of tutting old men started up...
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:07, archived)
# Hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Grampa, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:45, archived)
# I had to search but arf!
I can only say I haven't really bothered with sport really. Cricket especially. The one game I went to never grabbed me but I suppose booze would make it miles better.
(I helped save b3ta! Christian's Bolt and Ski, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:59, archived)
# There's no pressure to actually watch the game.
Just get slowly trollied while pretending to do the crossword or something.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 20:04, archived)
# I can do that.
Very easily.
(I helped save b3ta! Christian's Bolt and Ski, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 20:18, archived)
# You left out 'Stand around kicking your feet for 10 hours like a nonce'
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:56, archived)
# Well, you bring a book, obviously.
Behaving like a nonce is your own business.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:01, archived)
# Any sport where you can spend ten hours drinking while you watch it gets my vote.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:38, archived)
# No, this is a part of "playing" cricket
not spectating, I can drink and watch any sport.
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 20:30, archived)
# "It died" would suggest it would not come back and we would never have to put up with this boring pile of bulge-rubbing wank
But I fear so
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:39, archived)
# The legs fell off
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:44, archived)
# due to excess bulge rubbing
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 20:27, archived)
#
и он готовится принять трудно до ануса, пока она кровоточит
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:42, archived)
# That's easy for you to say
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:43, archived)
#
вики банк Нигерии, они хотят ваши банковские реквизиты
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:47, archived)
# Never!
No matter how many emails you send!
(I helped save b3ta! Christian's Bolt and Ski, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:48, archived)
#
Джимми Уэльс, где хранятся цифровые вики член в вас, если вы не
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:12, archived)
# Well they can't have them
(I helped save b3ta! juanking ...and then it fell off, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 21:33, archived)
# Anyone having problems with youtube when using firefox?
It keeps on refreshing the page when you go to watch a video, it's like it is having a fit
(I helped save b3ta! Duke Otterby you pre-verts, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:49, archived)
# See if this one fixes it
www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9kfcEga0lk
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:40, archived)
# Does she have to put Vaseline on her lips
in order to go outdoors in Alaska?
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 20:06, archived)
# Its the only way to keep the polar bears smiling
...and when polar bears smile, they don't eat you
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 20:15, archived)
# I thought the only way to keep the polar bear smiling
was for Brian May to write him a song
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 20:40, archived)
# O M G
Cricket is an abhorrent "sport".
Cricket, Darts and Snooker can get shitted in the cunt and die.
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:00, archived)
# At the cricket club I play at Kronenburg is £2 a pint
so you can stick that in your cunt and felch it.

Respectfully yours,

(joe is troubled Got all married and teh stuffs, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:03, archived)
# Kronenburg can fuck off too
Oooohh look at me with my £2 pint of piss.
I hate pricks and "their" cricket clubs. It's shite and so is their personality.
I'd rather be a bastard thieving student (with the ability to talk about anything other than the war and petrol prices) again and pay £2 in the student bar for a pint of Stowford.
I bet you read Bernard Cornwall books.
Fucking dull.

Kind regards,
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 20:36, archived)
# haha
(I helped save b3ta! Christian's Bolt and Ski, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 22:20, archived)
# How very dare you
traduce the 2nd, 3rd and 4th best sporting activities we have.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:24, archived)
# Ha,
quite true.
It's a disgrace isn't it.
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 20:39, archived)
# What?
You just listed the best ones!
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:40, archived)
# I just listed the hobbies
of the most boring bastard in the country.
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 20:40, archived)
# Well I like it.
Up yours, Ponting!
(Meagrom, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:18, archived)
# I saw it die at the SCG from the Member's Pavillion.
How sweet it was - especially the last post being played in almost silence and on the last note, Tremlett hitting the last wicket.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 15 Jan 2011, 21:54, archived)