Everything needs less Gervais.Also did you hear the story of how he refused to kill an octopus when he was a waiter?
A man walks into a restaurant and orders squid. 'Certainly sir,' says Gervais, the waiter. 'Would you like to choose your squid from the tank over there?' 'I'll have that little green one with the moustache,' says the customer. 'Oh no!' replies Gervais. 'But he's my favourite! He's so small and cute and friendly. Surely you'd prefer one of the bigger, meatier ones?' 'No,' says the customer. 'It's got to be that one'. So Gervais gets the little green squid out and puts him on the chopping block, raises his knife and ... the little squid looks up and smiles, twitching his bushy moustache into a big friendly grin! 'It's no good' says Gervais. 'I can't do it. I'll have to ask Hans who does the washing up. He's a big, tough brute - he'll be able to do the evil deed!' So out comes Hans, while Gervais disappears off in tears. Hans picks up the knife, raises it to chop the little squid's head off and ... once again the little friendly squid looks up and smiles, wiggling his little legs and twitching his little moustache. So Hans, too, finds it impossible to kill him.
The moral? Hans that does dishes is as soft as Gervais with mild green hairy-lip squid.
I'm sorry. So sorry.
(,
Thu 12 Jan 2012, 18:27,
archived)
A man walks into a restaurant and orders squid. 'Certainly sir,' says Gervais, the waiter. 'Would you like to choose your squid from the tank over there?' 'I'll have that little green one with the moustache,' says the customer. 'Oh no!' replies Gervais. 'But he's my favourite! He's so small and cute and friendly. Surely you'd prefer one of the bigger, meatier ones?' 'No,' says the customer. 'It's got to be that one'. So Gervais gets the little green squid out and puts him on the chopping block, raises his knife and ... the little squid looks up and smiles, twitching his bushy moustache into a big friendly grin! 'It's no good' says Gervais. 'I can't do it. I'll have to ask Hans who does the washing up. He's a big, tough brute - he'll be able to do the evil deed!' So out comes Hans, while Gervais disappears off in tears. Hans picks up the knife, raises it to chop the little squid's head off and ... once again the little friendly squid looks up and smiles, wiggling his little legs and twitching his little moustache. So Hans, too, finds it impossible to kill him.
The moral? Hans that does dishes is as soft as Gervais with mild green hairy-lip squid.
I'm sorry. So sorry.