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# I like chips with mayonaise. I prefer them soaked in peas and gravy from the chippy though.
If your chips crunch when you eat them you're doing it wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:50, archived)
# whenever I've asked for mayonaise on chips I've just got stared at
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:52, archived)
# Try asking in a chip shop.
Rather than, say, and undertakers', or a Total Fitness gym.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:54, archived)
# Had a great fryup at Moribunds Total Fitness
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:57, archived)
# If you're at a chippy, yeah, you will.
The same happens if you ask for gravy anywhere in the South.

You Shouldn't Have To Microwave It Bitches!
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:54, archived)
# The thing about gravy with chips, Mu,
is that it's COMPLETELY FUCKING WRONG
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:56, archived)
# And just how DANGEROUSLY near Canadia are you to say such a thing?
HMMMMMM

That's right

HMMMMMM
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:58, archived)
# You're talking about poutine I think?
My niece wants to make that for me, I keep putting her off. I fear it.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:02, archived)
# Join US EH?
JOIN US EH?

JOIN US EH?

JOIN US EH?

YOU CANNOT ESCAPE

*points vigourously and opens mouth wide, bacon falls out*
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:04, archived)
# Oh God. I read about that once.
It was a boke-fest from the first word to the last.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:05, archived)
# no no no no no it looks like a bokefest
but it's more addictive than crack
(I helped save b3ta! alpaca muffalo bozzerella, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:47, archived)
# poutine is fucking great
i live on it in the winter here
(I helped save b3ta! alpaca muffalo bozzerella, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:46, archived)
# Real Quebec fresh cheddar curds that squeak when you bite into them.
Real gravy that didn't start from a can.
Real hand cut potatoes.

Anything else is caveat ingestor
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 4:15, archived)
# No. Chippies have pans of it on continuously throughout the day for a reason.
Proper chippies that is. Northern chippies.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:58, archived)
# You seem to have mistaken this for a debate, Mu.
Whereas it's actually a lesson for the criminally ignorant.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:59, archived)
# Now would be a good time to get naked
and roll about on the floor
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:00, archived)
# Aye, you're not wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:02, archived)
# And when I'm not wrong, statistically I'm mostly right!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:03, archived)
# *rolls*
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:05, archived)
# *baps*
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:05, archived)
# huge vats
one vat curry

one vat gravy

It's what makes a chippy, damn it.

(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:59, archived)
# NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:00, archived)
# JOIN US
JOIN US

WITH OUR QUAD OF VATS

JOIN US

JOIN US

*points and breathes in vigorously*
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:02, archived)
# Yes!
You forgot the peas, but YES!
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:00, archived)
# OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!
THE PEAS

I FORGOT THE PEAS

holy crap :(

yes, an equally large vat of peas

OH OH OH FUCK

and a vat of beans!

how could I forget this!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:01, archived)
# And scraps, and puddings and pies and sausages and scallops.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:02, archived)
# scraps, variably nomenclatured as
scrag, scran, batter, bits and quite likely a myriad terms hithertoo unknown but to LOCALS!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:05, archived)
# OH WHAT'S THE FUCKING USE
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:05, archived)
# the more you fight us
the more we fry

and serve with various innapropriate meta condiments
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:06, archived)
# Hold on a minute
scallops? Surely that's some limp-wristed Southern puffery?
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:06, archived)
# Oh no, oh no no no. Not the poncey overprices shellfish.
Potato scallops
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:09, archived)
# fuck mate
scallops?

What is this? the old kent road?!

This has gone from being about MANS chips

with curry, gravy, beans and MUSHY FUCKING PEAS

along with choice of pie, fish, patty, cake etc

TO SCALLOPS!

I weep man, I weep !

Where did it all go wrong?
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:09, archived)
# Mu can't keep it together mate.
He's all like, look at me I'm rubbing boiling lardy chips and gravy into my manly chest, and then he's like, oh yeah and here's a rainbow dinosaur and some PONCEY FUCKING SCALLOPS
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:13, archived)
# They're battered fucking deep fried potato scallops, don't be giving me this shit mothy.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:14, archived)
# OOH LOOK AT ME I'M MU AND I'M EATING A HUGE FUCKING PLATE OF PONCEY FUCKING SCALLOPS
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:15, archived)
# shit man
all my hopes and dreams for the future!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:15, archived)
# It's a fucking disgrace, that's what it is.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:17, archived)
# Screw you guys, I'm going home.
Oh wait, I am home :(
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:22, archived)
# with
fritters-lite

:o
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:23, archived)
# ...and microwave chips
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:03, archived)
# :O
it'd be like the 3rd century ukraine!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 23:32, archived)
# and pickled eggs
mmmm
(I helped save b3ta! maggenspies mayhaps, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:14, archived)
# I've never eaten a pickled egg
I wonder if they'd agree with my digestive system.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:36, archived)
# are they likely to say no?
only one way to find out :D
(I helped save b3ta! maggenspies mayhaps, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:57, archived)
# And faggot
with mushy peas, chips and gravy
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 4:17, archived)
# I live about as far north as you can get.
And there's no pans on. Vats yes - pans no. Vats which have been simmering for so long I'm sure life is forming at the bottom.

And everything is fried, even the picked eggs. And the chips come covered in cheese.

It's heaven. Which is where you'll end up if you eat there more than once a year.
(azgiles, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 7:06, archived)
# My northern blood boils. BOILS!
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:03, archived)
# BOILING NORTHERN BLOOD
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:04, archived)
# He'll just have to dip something in lard
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:06, archived)
# That may very well be the nature of gravy.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:12, archived)
# microwave chips?
THIS IS A HEINOUS CRIME AGAINST CHIPS!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:56, archived)
# I was once in a chippy in Southampton and had to pay an extra 1.50 for curry sauce because they didn't even have gravy on the menu.
When I asked him to just pour it over the chips rather than set that stupid little tub in the bag he looked at me as if I'd asked for a go on his wife.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:57, archived)
# and Chip Butties
some places don't know what chip butties are

WHAT THE SCREAMING VEGETABLE PLANTATION FUCK!?
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:58, archived)
# I bet if I'd have asked him for a pudding in a barm he'd have just punched me the face.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:00, archived)
# Barm? BARM?
God I hate that word. Took me three months to work out what the fuck a barm cake was.

And don't get me started on Warburtons bread being wrapped in wax paper. The world has moved on and The North should catch up.

And breathe ...
(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:07, archived)
# If you keep a Warbourtons loaf for over a day you're commiting bready heresy.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:10, archived)
# Seriously. There are supermarkets here who can't keep warbourtons in stock past 2 in the afternoon.
And the fucking bakery is only down the road.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:17, archived)
# it is impossible for someone to say "BARM" without someone in the vicinity saying "EY UP CHUCK"
I believe they go together in some manner.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:10, archived)
#
CHUCK COCK
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:13, archived)
# EVEN MORE ETHNIC!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:25, archived)
# The North!
Call a man "Cock" and don't get punched in the face for it!
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:30, archived)
# maybe at Lancaster lattitudes
but north of yorkshire it'd result in a bloodbath
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:37, archived)
# listen
until you've gone into a chippy and asked for a sausage supper and tried to hand over a bunch of pound notes, you've got no fucking cause to complain
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:01, archived)
# HAh!
I've been to take aways in the south

I HAVE EVERY FUCKING RIGHT TO COMPLAIN!!!!!one!!!eleven
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:03, archived)
# Pound notes? Where are you living?
The only place I know with pound notes are the Channel Islands.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:03, archived)
# Fucking Hell
They went in 1984, 28 years ago.
(I helped save b3ta! Ghoti Fingers, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:09, archived)
# Not in the Channel Islands, I was there a couple of months back.
Pound notes. It was cute how they were trying to be different with their monopoly money.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:11, archived)
# also not in scotland
last i knew they were still legal tender, just very rare.

well, i say legal tender. if you believe the nerds on wikipedia they aren't actually legal tender at all, but they're de facto legal tender. yeah.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 0:15, archived)
# the disclaimer is that this happened ten years ago
but ten years back pound notes - bank of scotland, i think; i think both clydesdale and rbos had stopped them - were *always* given in change by the butchers in st andrews. i think they had a massive stock of them or something. it wasn't very easy to buy anything with them in england.

for all i know the butchers has shut down and pound notes have finally died.



edit: i just went and checked. the nerds on wikipedia reassure me that pound notes are still issued in scotland, but it's rbos that issue them, not bos. that told me.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 0:14, archived)
# You still get pound notes in Scotland
The seem to cycle between till and wallet, never going near a bank so they're slowly getting less and less recognisable as notes.

(azgiles, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 7:02, archived)
# the ones i always got
passed from the butchers and the pub. i imagine the pub then went and spent them at the butchers, because they never gave them out in change. neither did anyone else.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 11:16, archived)
# Maybe his wife's name was Currysauce?
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 21:59, archived)
# Selling her for 1.50 a go over the counter and he gets upset if I ask for a bit of kink?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Wed 11 Jul 2012, 22:01, archived)
# So long as you're talking about the South of England
In the American South, gravy is everywhere, and it looks like this: www.google.ca/search?q=sausage+gravy+biscuits&tbm=isch
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Thu 12 Jul 2012, 4:21, archived)