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[challenge entry] Bindun?

From the Recession challenge. See all 243 entries (closed)

(Capitan Last night a BJ choked my wife, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:24, archived)
# By about every teenage boy.
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:25, archived)
# pfft
I tried that.

It was so fucking unpleasant.

I did it with a toilet roll tube held over a hoover extension (not even a henry or a dyson, the shame)

I hurt. It made me dread actually getting a blow-job.

Later, I was pleasantly surprised.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:27, archived)
# You switched it on?
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:28, archived)
# DID EVERYONE FUCK HENRY BUT ME?!
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:28, archived)
# I never did.
Still haven't. But our Dyson keeps winking at me.
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:31, archived)
# we called our's
Sid the Suck.

no one ever did, or would own up to it.
(chippy time travel agents, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:32, archived)
# i did a dyson.
I blame what ever harry enfield thing Kevin the teenager was on as i saw him do it on that then went for a try.

I tried again a few years later out of a combination of boredom and reverie my penis no longer fit. I felt proud because i was turning towards mandom. I felt ashamed as i was turning towards mandom and was atempting to vaccuum my cock.

saying that if i could get some form of sponge lined contraption I'd probably try again now.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:32, archived)
# hahah
:)

meat-lined, be more ambitious.

*high-fives*


*washes hands*
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:34, archived)
# no
mine was a fucking old-fashioned hoover, way before i'd heard of the come-inducing gaze of henry.

It just hurt.

If only hoover noozles were a little more moist and meaty, it would be perfect.

*strokes chin*
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:32, archived)
# Use some bacon next time.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:35, archived)
# haha
so speaks the hoovirgin.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:38, archived)
# HAHAHA. GOOD LORD.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:48, archived)
# that sounds like a blue peter project.
I'm saying masking tape, an inner roll from some kitchen paper and some upholstery foam sausages to line the inside...

b3ta book of DIY sextoys anyone?
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:37, archived)
# This one KittyVomit linked me to.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1905102941/ref=sib_rdr_dp

The illustrations in that are absolutely brilliant.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:39, archived)
# it's a good plan... but
I think it could be improved.


....with meat. Raw meat. Perhaps warmed slightly.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:41, archived)
# Someone I knew who worked in Walmart got fired for sticking his dick in the bacon slicer.
His abrupt dismissal made the penis reconstruction operations difficult to pay for.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:44, archived)
# this sounds like an american joke delivered by an englisher
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:45, archived)
# Surely an English joke delivered by a German.

What's sad about four black men driving off a cliff?
They were my friends.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:48, archived)
# Ich bin ein Deutscher?
haha. particularly good joke there, sir. well done.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:50, archived)
# I can't claim it myself, the only anti humour joke I've ever made up is the Why did the golfer carry a spare pair of trousers? one.
Because he was incontinent.

They are all here:
www.anenglishmanscastle.com/archives/000463.html
www.anenglishmanscastle.com/archives/001513.html
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:57, archived)
# this makes me think of stewart lee
describing a how a joe pasquale joke wouldn't work in german.

this makes me smile.

also Jerry springer the opera is currently £2.99 on play.com
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:54, archived)
# I saw it and that kind of price makes me sad.
He said they never made any financial success on it due to those cocking christians not even watching the show before completely misinterpreting it.

Satire and dry humour works even better in German arguably, due to the preconceptions of Germans as very serious and the peculiar tone of their language
See: www.youtube.com/watch?v=22ehEhZ9A68&feature=related
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 3:04, archived)
# is that the german embassador for comedy
coz he's hysterical.

maybe I should click it and see before asking.. but hey.. it's not my problem.. pointless posting is bring you all one step closer to seeing my naked puckered flesh.

also have you seen this:

www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/48648/1217599491/page1forb3aimagecompo.jpg

tis a first page of a practice run through at doing a comic between my self and a friend.. I'm writing and colouring he's drawing..


EDIT: yesss I've seen that before..late night on channel 4. I was in hysterics. :).
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 3:23, archived)
# Haha that is mental in both content and art style.
You managed to put you're/your though. Unless the person literally was the concept of order.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 3:34, archived)
# that still needs to be changed..
that be the precarious knife edge of stimulating creativity with recreational drug use. lol.

the comic is only gonna get weirder.. still need to finish writing it though.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 3:46, archived)
# I wish I had someone I could force to do my illustration for me.
I have about four or five comic ideas, some of which are plausibly well written ones and some are just silly, but I can't draw anything even approaching decent illustration standard.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 3:54, archived)
# :)
marvelous.

I also think the minds of b3ta can kick out some far more hideous contraptions.

a doctor dyslexia designed love aid... *nods.*

(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:48, archived)
# I never did
but I heard about the horror from my housemate

It, didnt sound too pleasent
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:37, archived)
# HAHAHAH!!!
even I never tried it.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:39, archived)
# it's not good
don't.

better to wait for that special girl :)
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:43, archived)
# Then I jump out from behind the bins and
mwhahahahahahahaha!!
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:45, archived)
# ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Most Disturbing thread EVARRRRR!
(I helped save b3ta! P3L3 is not my real name., Sun 10 Aug 2008, 3:22, archived)
# not to my knowledge
have a woo.
(gobbledegook blurs the line between lurking and stalking, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:25, archived)
# heheh
g'night, all!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:30, archived)
# ^ this
G'night everyone!
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:32, archived)
# lol henry
etc....


god im drunk!
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:34, archived)
# lucky git :)
what's your poison?
(I helped save b3ta! Winthorpe Sim-Sala-Bim, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:40, archived)
# lots and lots of cider
followed by lots and lots of larger


:)
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:41, archived)
# like an enormous pint of snakebite
(I helped save b3ta! Winthorpe Sim-Sala-Bim, Sun 10 Aug 2008, 2:48, archived)