Trousers
Ever since I can remember, I've needed the comfort of knowing my legs were firmly encased in cloth, and shielded from the view of passers-by and the elements.

Oh, on the odd holiday, there'd be mad, brave forays into the grotesque semi-nudity of shorts, or even trunks, but reality always crept in round the edges. I'm a redhead, so white, I'm nearly blue, and the sun was never kind to my pale skin. Before long, the sheer pain of their absence would force me back into the comforting embrace of the long trousers.

Now, it's so bad, I can't leave the house without them. I wear them every day, and although nobody has ever tried to take them from me, there'd be hell to pay if someone were ever to be so foolish.

And everywhere I look, I see men with the same dark affliction. It's not something we talk about, but you can see it in their eyes. You'd think there'd be a support group or something, wouldn't you...?
(Leo Sasquatch hates being the grown-up, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 20:14, 3 replies)

{Raises hand}...
...yup, I hate wearing shorts or a swimsuit as well, and I'm nowhere near as burnable as a natural redhead.

I even wear a pair of full combats to ride my bike to work, no matter the weather. If it were compulsory to dress up like a cock in a novelty condom with adverts on it as some do then I'd walk.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 22:00, closed)

a group needs to be started.
i too feel the agony of wearing shorts very,very keenly.
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Sat 20 Dec 2008, 14:53, closed)

Ditto
Can just about bear wearing shorts if in some sunny climate on holiday
( snee held his breath since, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 8:01, closed)