My addiction
I was living in an apartment behind a large perfume advertisement, in New York. I was some sort of seemingly artsy hunk, with a nice beard, at the time.

I must have been the only person in the world who didn't know who she was. She jumped into a taxi I was in and demanded "drive" (the cheek!).

I asked her who she was.

"I'm a dancer," came the reply, "I love to dance!"

Then an old man came into the apartment.
"You must be there tomorrow!" He demanded of her.
"I don't care about tomorrow!" She exclaimed "I only care about today." (Because she as a total free spirit and shit.)

Then she fucked off to some premiere or something, presumably because by the time tomorrow came round, it was today, therefore she cared about it.

Sometimes I wonder, if she has forgotten. But I will not because bla bla bla Chanel no.5. That's right, romance is now so homogenized all we need is brief snapshots of a trite cliche-ridden love story to sell you shitty perfume that smells of piss and jizz.

And that's how I beat my addiction.
( Paedosmile service with a grin., Wed 24 Dec 2008, 23:22, 6 replies)

good
I hate that kidman woman
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 23:37, closed)

Yes
I hate that cruise man.
(Mucky has squinted at the screen with one eye shut since, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 23:46, closed)

this advert
gives me the proper rage. silly wax faced tart.
(tjn whizzing on the electric fence of life, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 0:21, closed)

The 'i'm a dancer' bit
always makes me think that its something Withnail might say.
(Dr Zoidberg is going for a scuttle, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 10:02, closed)

s/dancer/crackwhore/
would be closer to the truth
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 25 Dec 2008, 12:00, closed)

YES
Oh god, yes. I'm not a violent person, but the mere sight of this ad makes me gnash my teeth and reach for the nearest pointed object.

The bit that really makes me want to slap the horse-faced tart is when she says 'dancer' all British-like and then 'i love to dance' in an American accent. Small thing; makes me want to rip my own eyes out.
(Samara Morgan is a small blue thing, like a marble or an eye, Thu 25 Dec 2008, 15:41, closed)