THE worst holiday
was 2 weeks in Protugal in 1983 with my parents (I was 14 at the time).

First dad slipped a disk and spent 1.5 weeks on his back - joyful times on the beach with my mum...anyway we made the most of it and I was spoiled rotten.

Off to Faro airport - flying with Dan Air (remember them). Announcement: We have a technical problem and are flying out an engineer and a part from Manchester. Flight will be delayed by 3 to 4 hours. Dad writhing in pain on the plastic seats, me bored out of my mind having exhausted the possibilities offered by the games machines in the bar.

Bar and shops then close - it was about midnight. This delay then became a 36 hour wait!!!! How long does it take to fix a plane? Dan Fuckin Dare more like!

Anyway, end up on the flight and things are ok for the first half hour. Then pilot announcement: If you are having trouble sleeping it is probably due to the excessive wind noise from the fron undercarriage which we can't fully retract.

OK, I can live with that. As we approach UK, another announcement: Due to the drag from the front undercarriage, we have burned more fuel than we expected. We are diverting to East Midlands airport and you will be bussed to Manchester.

OK, I can live with that too. On final approach to East Midlands, another announcement: We aren't sure if the front undercarriage is locked down, time for an emergency landing.

OK, can't really live with that, or the manic screaming from many of the passengers.

Eventually we make the smoothest landing ever at what is arguably the worst runway in the country surrounded by fire engines and ambulances. You could actually feel the silence just as the aircraft stopped moving and everyone gave the biggest sigh of relief you could possibly imagine.

And because my dad is a feckless bone idle git, we didn't even get any compo! Bastard...
(penrose your dog's got tits, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 13:21, Reply)