Babysitting for a bloody cat
Now dont get me wrong, i love cats, would have one myself if circumstances allowed it.
But this one was pure evil and did my head in.
Neighbours were away for a week or so and I was on cat feeding duty.
They had been gone 6 days and I'd not seen a hide nor hair of the wee beastie.
I'd gone in and found an empty food bowl, removed the gory disembowelled remains of various mice and birds scattered round their kitchen and around the cat flap, yeah great, thanks for that, bloody cat
But apart from that its like it didnt exist.
I asked the other neighbours if they have seen it and no-one had.
For a couple of days before their return the food i put out then remained untouched.
In a panic I put some sachets of cat food in my bin in case they counted up what had been used.
And began to think about what words I could offer on their return to a now cat free house.
When they drove up I was in my garden and my stomach flipped.
Then this fecking moggy appeared out of nowhere, wound its way round my legs purring, and then sauntered up to their front door to sit there waiting like the Queen of Fecking Sheba and absorbed the fuss that followed.
Bloody cat!
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 1:12, 13 replies)

I like cats,
But certainly here in Australia, I'd advocate getting rid of them completely if it were possible.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 3 Nov 2010, 1:51, closed)

you meanie.
I love my little fuzzball. he gives us hours of entertainment.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 3 Nov 2010, 5:12, closed)

I had a dig at one of my colleagues here.
She told us that when she goes on holiday, she just locks the cat out and it catches birds to eat. She didn't seem happy when I told her that was just what the indigenous wildlfe here needed...
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 3 Nov 2010, 14:03, closed)

The cat knows you didnt like it
So was winding you up :) Seriously they are cleverer than you might think :D They know the crack!

Cats are awesome!
(Miggyman, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 7:38, closed)

I adore cats
Had one for over 20 yrs, the most affectionate cat ive ever known
This one was very aloof, didnt let me stroke it very often.
Although since that week it does now deign to meow at me and let me tickle its chin for a millisecond
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 12:25, closed)

Mine did exactly this.
I adopted a cat shortly after moving into a new house and he was very, very timid (still is, in fact, albeit less so) and about an hour after arriving he vanished into thin air. I spent the rest of the day and most of the rest of the night looking for him, petrified that my new house had some hole in the floorboards somewhere that I didn't know about and that had granted him his freedom, until I eventually saw a ginger tail poking out from within the armature of my sofabed.

He's too chunky to fit up there now, which is probably just as well.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 8:43, closed)

Cats and folding furniture not a good combination
www.thisisplymouth.co.uk/news/Owner-s-warning-cat-killed-chair/article-2715650-detail/article.html
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 12:26, closed)

Cats are amazing - I'm a dog lover convert (But don't tell the missus)
The only thing better than one cat is two cats. Infact scratch that the only thing better than two cats, is two cats and an empty box.
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 8:55, closed)

Two Cats,
One Box?
(salvadorevincent, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 9:57, closed)

Solution
Cat
Canvas bag
Brick
Canal

... sorted!

(Not really, I prefer dogs but cats are OK -- if inherently evil).
(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 11:32, closed)

That sounds like something my cat would do
You're not a dog walker are you?
(Dwarfsmuggler Has hogtied Snow White, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 9:38, closed)

I'm not a dog person
I dont mind them, but I'd never have one.
I hate the way they smell when wet and I absolutely loathe being licked by slobbery dogs
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 12:28, closed)

saying a cat is evil is like saying a baby is small
completely reduntand.
they're ALL evil.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 3 Nov 2010, 17:40, closed)