My boss, "J" is a bit of a 'character'.
[/euphemism]

What I really mean is that he's a bit of an arse...and I use the word advisedly because one of his favourite pastimes is farting loudly for the supposed amusement of whatever assembled minions and peons are there to witness it. I swear he can do it at will, as they sometimes carry on for whole minutes. This lack of social grace is carried across the board - his taste on music is both shitdrinkingly poor and inescapable (guess who controls the office stereo?) and his speech patterns are shot to hell - he pauses, stutters and sometimes takes a whole cup of coffee to finish a single sentence, or so it can seem. Fortunately he's a decent manager on the whole, and all these problems are pretty much aesthetic.

Last week he came into the office brandishing a new CD - always an occasion for fear and trepidation - loudly (and slowly) proclaiming its virtues to the office. It was some sort of mediaeval poetry or something set to music - Shakespeare or Chaucer or etc, I forget and am neither cultured enough to know the difference or interested enough to look it up. He slapped it in the player, then stammered to the unfortunate watchers:

"Last night I ate...

...lots of sprouts. Everyone...check...

...this out!"

Pressing play, he proceeded to sing along to the unholy wailing noise...and after a few seconds we could hear another noise rising to join the double cacophony. The dirty bastard was carefully controlling his arse and farting along with the music. His singing ("singing") was surprisingly smoother than his speaking, but this couldn't last. I guess the CD was second hand, because it started skipping, and halfway through a line it cut out entirely. J , the poor bastard, was so surprised by this that he clammed up completely at both ends, and for a blissful few seconds, peace ruled in our land. It wasn't to last however, as he just thumped the CD player and began anew, his rectal choir singing louder than ever until it nearly drowned out everything else. It was the worst experience with bottom enjambment I've ever had.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Sun 13 Jun 2010, 13:00, Reply)