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This is a question Wanking Disasters Part II

Despite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.

Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU

(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
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A record?
When I was 14 or thereabouts, upon taking ownership of a glossy new edition of Men Only, I managed to spill my filthy seed eight times in one evening. Can anyone claim to have beaten this milestone of crusty-handkerchiefness?
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:08, 15 replies)
I would like to meet the person
who could not claim to have beaten (ahurr) that.

I hereby claim I once wanked 924 times in a three day period.
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:16, closed)
This is not a Pathetic Sex Lie
I really did do my best impersonation of Santa that night.
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:22, closed)
I didn't say it was
but one can claim anything they like. :P

I almost certainly whittled myself to an equally fine point when I was around 14, too.
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:29, closed)
weekend-long Golden Girls marathon?

(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:22, closed)
Oh fuck!
And when there was a lull in Allo Allo, no waitresses in the last few minutes, so it was Madame Edith or nothing.
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:37, closed)
i once
managed 11 in an 8 hour period.

i called my friend to let him know, i was proud. i was also 14.
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 20:00, closed)
Hahahaha!
We've all been there. :)
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 15:25, closed)
not beaten
but equaled.

*awkward high fives*
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 20:27, closed)
Surely you mean
*Squelchy high fives*

*Hides*
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 20:32, closed)
not a milestone but
have never beaten a milestone...........
but i hae beaten my self sensless ;-}
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 20:38, closed)
im 28
I could beat that record now, in fact, I'm a third of the way there already
(, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 22:25, closed)
A third of 8 ?
Which means you were fwapping with one hand and typing with the other. Now that's multi-tasking.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:35, closed)
Pffft
If you've managed to keep count it means you've havn't beaten me.

After a 6 hour spunk fested cock jangling everything seems to roll into one, time ceases to exist and all you notice is the dry heaving comming from your balls as you climax for the 100th time.

Seriously you could have lit a fire with my foreskin and a bit of kindling.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 9:47, closed)
I think my record is seven
ah, GCSE revision...
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:35, closed)
I'm 35 and could beat that in a day.
and as a teenager I beat that and I was with a girl. happy days.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:25, closed)

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