This one's not mine, it's my brother's.
During uni, my Brother lived in a big shared house with about eight people.
He and his flatmates decided to have house party. It all went swimmingly, and around five in the morning, 'ickle bro decides it's time to head to bed. But as he approaches his door, he hears the unmistakable sounds of passion and, sure enough, in his bed are two drunken revellers at it like sharp knives.

The chap interrupts his stroke when he realizes what's happened and pleads, nay, begs my brother to let them continue. They won't be ten minutes and he's wanted to shag this bird for ages. Please mate. Be a pal. Etc,

My brother, being the stout man of honour he is, agrees to give him half an hour. Then they must be Out.

So off my brother goes for a nightcap. He's not got two steps when the bloke sticks his head round the door.
"scuse me mate, h'ave you got any lube? She's letting me do anal."

Now doing anal in a stranger's bed is a different kettle of fish.
So my brother goes off to the medicine cabinet, and, in the darkness of the corridor, hands the guy...

A tube of Deep Heat.


Apparently you could hear the screams two floors down.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:17, 3 replies)

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/bedroomdisasters/post1256854

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:26, closed)

Quite possibly all lies,
It does sound like the kind of thing he'd do though.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Mon 27 Jun 2011, 11:29, closed)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What Dr. Nob rot said.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 16:00, closed)