Mother in Law
We went round my in-laws' for Christmas dinner...

She roasted the turkey the day before (until it was dessicated) and left it in the lukewarm oven overnight.
She boiled the sprouts for over an hour until they went brown.
She cooked the stuffing balls and potatoes for two hours so they resembled geodes.
She baked the parsnips until they looked like bits of driftwood.

All elements were served cold or lukewarm, drowned in a pint of thin gravy. I personally don't like gravy, so I gagged through the main course. I looked forward to dessert because she was always talking about her wonderful Christmas puddings.

It was black, crunchy and chewy, and tasted both sour and bitter. She added some squirty cream which flattened to a thin puddle as soon as it touched the hot pudding. Everyone else seemed to think this was all fine, so I just went along with it.

I had the squits until the day after boxing day.
(Supermonkey, Mon 30 May 2011, 15:42, Reply)