Keep it in the family
One about a bloke for a change. Although it does involve a bonkers (well, borderline incestuous) woman too.

I embarked upon a tumultous and passionate relationship with D back when I was in college. Despite the best efforts of his extremely possessive family to split us up - including moving 200 miles away - we stuck together after we both left college. Said family were really the only fly in the ointment at that stage - but a fairly big one.

He had a twin sister. We'll call her Julie. Julie would continuously bemoan the fact she couldn't find anyone as attractive and wonderful as her brother. She'd smack his arse and call him sexy, and kiss him rather too lingeringly on the mouth. Sometimes, I'd spot her hand creeping up his inner thigh in the pub. Julie maintained a veneer of sweetness with me, but I was aware she really couldn't stand me.

Whilst such behaviour generated many an ucky shudder, I was blinded by love/ lust and reconciled myself to the fact they were a very tactile family. So, it was despite this, and the fact D could be slightly possessive (we had a few rows about the fact I worked with all men), we married 18 months later.

Julie wore black to the wedding.

Things quickly went tits up, as I realised D was as dysfunctional as the rest of his family. Some examples:

1. He was horrendously vain and I would catch himself staring in the mirror and saying "you're so gorgeous". However, if I tried to put make up on, he would deride me for looking slutty and trying to attract other men.

2. He ran up enormous phone bills fwapping to 0898 numbers whilst I was at work. These appeared on our itemised bill, interspersed with calls to his sister. Our phone was next to the front door, and many a time I would trip on his joyously discarded skiddy undercrackers when I came home from work.

3. Despite his insistence on working at his pissy job in Blockbuster Video till 4am in the morning (doing his "new release wall", allegedly) and various nights out with the boys, he was angry if I had any social life of my own.

4. He wanked off his cat the night before it got spayed ("It's the sort of thing a friend would do!").

5. Regardless of the fact I had a perfectly good job of my own, he told me he expected me to give it up and follow him wherever his career took him, like his mother had with his father. Missing the tiny detail that his father was a senior ranking officer in the Navy, whereas D had a pissy job in Blockbuster Video.

The final straw came when we went to stay with his family 8 months after we married. I had just undressed for bed when his father walked in without knocking, gave me a FAR too lingering kiss and groped me up ("You're my daughter now"). D didn't turn a hair.

I made it my business after that to commit adultery at the earliest possible opportunity and left him only weeks later.

He's onto his third divorce now, at the age of 33. I can't imagine why.

Length? Well, he had to have SOMETHING going for him.
( weebear1974 discovering the joy of cat rape since, Wed 22 Nov 2006, 10:35, Reply)