Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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a bit nothingeyWhen I was 14, and being oh so rebellious, me and my school pals were walking down the street and a police car drove past. I interrupted our conversation briefly to shout "BACON!" at the top of my voice. Feeling smug for spitting in the face of authority I carried on walking. A minute later, said police car pulled up and the driver looked at me with his evil eyes and went on about how insulting a police officer is an arrestable offence. by the end of his lecture i was a tad scared, being young and naive i honestly thought i was in serious trouble. however, at that exact moment, a butcher's van drove past, with the word "Bacon!" in huge letters along the side. I merely pointed, winked at the officer and carried on my merry way.
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 15:54, Reply)
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