a bludging skiver and proud of it
I dont know whether i've been lucky in finding jobs that allowed me to spend half a lifetime skiiving or the type of people that would hire me are also the type of people that would allow it. I remember i was a young geologist when the boss announced he was going on 15 weeks long service leave after 20 years with company. My task was to sample all the old exploration leases areas to see if there was anything there (gold) before they expired. I spent 14 weeks driving round the australian desert, doing LSD and spending days tracking kangaroos on foot caught up in some aboriginal fantasies. About 2 days before he got back I went to a single outcrop I knew was barren, and took 500 samples. I then got out my maps, and marked these sample randomly over the maps so it looked like Id been busy sampling the whole area. Sure enough they came back from the lab with no gold.

Wombathons Tips for Young Skiivers
1)if you are on to good thing, resist the urge to brag about it. A low profile means a longer time undiscovered
2)Never actually tell them if you have finished a project unless they demand it. That way, they can assume youre busy on several different projects. If they finally demand results, hey presto, its done.
3)Spend the first month or so coming in early and working late. A reputation for hard work will last long after you gradually start slacking off.
4)A good, matey relationship with your boss will be invaluable when it comes to taking advantage.
5)If you have to report your progress, learn the art of giving detail without substance. Like the Turner Prize
6)Nobody seeing your screen is crucial. Give whatever reason you need to rearrange things so they cant see your screen. Even do it without asking anyone early one morning, as its more trouble to put things back than to stop you if you ask permission.
7)The art of skiiving is a balance, grasshopper. You must do do just enough so they don't obviously have to sack you, but no more. You will learn with experience.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sat 30 Apr 2005, 17:29, Reply)