How I Skive Off WorkAdmit it. No one does any work these days. It's all looking at crappy websites with your thumb hanging over alt tab incase the boss walks over. Tell us your best methods of skiving, and any resultant incidents. (Maybe your slacking off has got someone sacked, or resulted in a large scale industrial accident.)
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rob, Wed 27 Apr 2005, 15:53)
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How to Sleep It Off Using PaperclipsThis technique requires: personal office with a door, a handful of paperclips, an extra chair with wheels (maybe put some staples, hole punches and/or filing supplies on it) and a large old fashioned desk. Hangover is optional.
Stomp around office like you are mad or agitated. Act very very awake. Slam door. Now comes the preparation. Dump a box of paperclips on the floor under the desk, be careful not to bang sore head on keyboard assembly. Load up spare chair with crap that will make a loud noise if jostled or moved. Place chair in front of door, just far enough so that a loud noise and/or ruckus will be caused by someone flinging open door. Get into position: curl up under desk and sink into a blissful sleep. When you hear the "chair alarm", immediately raise yourself up and grab a handful of paperclips. Throw in a sneeze (due to dust under there) so as to explain the reddish eyes.
Raise yourself up slowly like a meercat and, with much chutzpah, ask the person what they want. If it is your boss, just do some posturing that indicates complete slavehood and acquiesence to his/her every demand.
***note*** This technique is for extreme situations only and can usually only be used a couple of times before people get suspicious.
(, Mon 2 May 2005, 13:38, Reply)
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