When my former father-in-law was seriously ill
we used to get the double-glazing firm who'd done our windows ringing us to push conservatories and porches.

So every time the phone rang, we'd grab it quick in case we were needed right away. As different family members took the calls it was a while before we realised that we were getting up to 4 calls a DAY.

Next time they rang - at 8am, ffs - I nearly broke my neck jumping up to answer, thinking, oh shit, this is it, Granddad's popped his clogs in the night...

The ensuing conversation was short and to the point. They never called back.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 8:46, 1 reply)

It's not a porch
It's a Ferrari.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 4 Sep 2009, 9:08, closed)