Bought a car for $365
Here in Hawaii car dealerships don't have the money to ship away trade-ins, so they sell them for dirt cheap.
My husband gets a flyer in the mail to stop by one of these sales and they will give him $5. I, being 24 and unable to drive (I know I KNOW! I'm afraid and refuse to learn on my husband's stick shift.) sit on my ass in the car. My husband leaves and comes back with a smirk on his face. "They have a minivan (a tank) for $88." A Plymouth Grand Voyager in eggplant purple paint.
We buy the van for me to learn to drive on.
Before I am even willing to drive it I have to clean it. It apparently had a unwashed family of twelve and a dog living in it. My first step was cleaing the interior vinyl. I went thru five sponges that had to have water splashed into them from the bucket and be rung out into the street because rinsing them in the bucket rendered the whole two gallons of water unusable after the first time. Then I removed the seats and scrubbed the upholstery (twice!), diassembled the seat wells and scraped out the inch deep of compacted cockroach shit (Oh yes, the car was INFESTED with cockroaches), reassembled the whole thing. Then (shudder) vaccumed the cockroach carapace and shit out all the pockets, glove compartment and drawers, finding in the process unpaid bills, a hypodermic needle, a ten inch machete and a carton of milk. Then the car battery died and I payed $60 to have it towed two blocks to get the battery replaced. We used the car to move to our new place and parked it. Due to the insect problem it would sprout cobwebs after about a week of being parked int the same spot. Our landlord considered it "abandoned" and had it towed, where it was stolen off the lot, full of my worhtless but meaninful personal crap.
Apologies for length.
We got $5800 from the towing lot though. Bonus!
Still didn't learn to drive though.
(Windy Shrimp "wuz heah", Tue 8 Jan 2008, 1:10, 3 replies)

First time
the first time i wrote this I got about two hundered words in before my cat came over and sat her fat ass on the keyboard and deleted the lot. I attempted to break the keyboard over my knee. Now my knee is bruised.
(Windy Shrimp "wuz heah", Tue 8 Jan 2008, 1:20, closed)

nice reply there, hehe
that description of the van actually made me feel sick, nicely done. At least you got a big wad out of the end of it, wohoo!
( Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 9:38, closed)

*click*
discovering a large machete earns a click!
(JasperSinister is offering two tickets to the gun show, Tue 8 Jan 2008, 10:12, closed)