I like Gervais.
Music
At school/college/uni and now at work I still get abuse for the music I enjoy listening to. Why do people feel the need to 'persuade' others in a condescending manner, that their music is somehow better than yours? Music doesn't have a 'value', so it cannot ever be superior to any other music. I enjoy listening to new music, as long as you don't force me to fucking like it.

Boasting about drugs/booze
Nothing against them, but don't waste your time trying to convince me how 'absoultely fucked' you were on whatever substance. Talk to me about something interesting.
( PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Wed 21 Oct 2009, 1:52, Reply)

spam and pop ups
seriously, who actually responds to these things?

hmm.. penis enlargement pills *click*
(Lord Chode, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 0:28, 5 replies)

Poetry
A poet is a musician without an instrument.
Poetry is a song without the music
(Natrix, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 0:22, 3 replies)

I nearly forgot
R'n'B music should be re-titled because if it arguably has rhythm it definitely has no blues. People tend to forget what the letters R and B stand for, and rhythm and blues was a completely different genre of music back in t'day and has completely lost its roots.
(welshyboy, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 0:04, 9 replies)

Music wtf
Nowadays music is shit. Lady gaga - she has a dick so fuck off. Ndubz - do they really have to tell everyone their name at the beggining of the song? Rap and rnb...it's just a shitty drum loop and synth with half decent rapping and singing. Screamo death metal bands...what the fuck!? How can people like or enjoy that shit? It sounds like my dog raping my cat...while being raped by me.

I also don't give a shit nor wil I ever give a shit about a flismy pathetic celebs life or death. Why should they get more publicity than other normal people.

Football - love the game but find the players pathetic drama queens. Get the fuck up you twats stop acting like pussies you over priced pilloks.

Cunts the lot of them.
(WhataYob, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 23:54, 9 replies)

A couple of things
The re-introduction of 80s-style music into the current generation. It wasn't really any good the first time around and it's just worse now. (see: La Roux)

X Factor being shoved down our throats and everyone lauding whoever it is that wins as the next best thing.

The reasoning behind the waist being reassigned about 6 inches higher than it was last year. Seriously, the amount of girls/women I see around town and out of an evening with hilariously high-waisted skirts etc is ridiculous!

Everyone between the age of teenage and twentysomething (it seems) to wear tight jeans and a bandanna worn like a cravate. It looks silly! Just wear normal jeans and a t-shirt! Gah!
(welshyboy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 23:34, 4 replies)

'burlesque' shows.
Can anyone tell me - am I meant to have an erection or not?
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 23:20, 1 reply)

Surely it's bindun
Michael McIntyre. What the fuck? How is this person funny? Why do people screech with pleasure when they watch him? How come one gurn from him can melt chicks pants off and cause my male friends to spontaneously combust with laughter?

I have tried to watch his 'funniest bits' on youtube. They really weren't very funny bits. I have watched bits of him on Dave. This isn't humour. The only talent this man has is that he is mortal.

ARRRGH!
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 23:00, 5 replies)

Extreme Sports
By which I mean BMXing, skateboarding, skydiving and anything else that involves leaping hither and yon about the place and hoping you don't make a horlicks of the landing. Personally I stay clear of anything that could result in yours truly being spatula'd off the landscape.
(Big D, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 22:37, 2 replies)

celebrities dying
I didn't know them and I don't want to listen to people go on about them
(Agent Dale Pooper k in the p, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 22:34, 1 reply)

Sorry ...
I have a Chinese neighbour who suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder - he's always farting about in his garden, keeping it insanely tidy. One day I got so sick of the sight, I had to close my curtains.
After that, I just couldn't see the fussing Asian.
(mudskipper, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 22:33, Reply)

Camping
This isn't something that bothers me as such. By it's very nature camping tends to done out in the middle of nowhere and thus a long way away from me.
What I don't get is "Why?"
You've dragged yourself out into the moors while carrying every single thing you might require, set up your vinyl wendyhouse and then...what, exactly?
Alright, you might have your mates with you but you can have an equally fun time in a town centre and there's a better chance of geting a kebab. And if you run out of ale you are stuffed.
Plus, you're not really getting back to nature are you? Not with a rucksack full of stuff designed to keep the experience less primitive.
Camping is one of those things I don't get. And I am even more puzzled by North Americans who trek out into the wilderness. At least in the UK you're not going to run into a grizzly unless the universe really, really hates you.
(Big D, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 22:33, 3 replies)

I watched
an asperand trying to pull a large trailer up a steep hill. It kept slipping and sliding all over the place.

I couldn't see the at traction.





Sorry.
( Larry Death Anger Pain Fear Aggression, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 22:32, Reply)

FUCKING STARWARS
The MOST overrated films of all time - poor editing, boring repetitive story (ever noticed that two of the films have the same plot?), some deeply annoying characters, most of the mattes look fake and, above all, people think it is intellectually better than a quite astounding number of thoroughly more deserving cinematic experiences. Burn the acetates please.

And yes I do know it is the source of c. 30% of all B3TA image challenges and internet memes. But that don't make the original good.

Oh length? About 2hrs 1 minute too long.
(beaverwastemanagement a real company. I want to work for them!, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 22:29, 9 replies)

Footless tights
Ok, so I'm slightly cheating here. The question says "turns everyone else on". I don't think footless tights turn anyone on. This is kind of the mystery... why the hell so many otherwise beautiful women wear them.

You can imagine the product meeting. Hey, our sales at Tights R Us are good, but, you know, we've still got that image problem. Apparently some blokes don't find tights sexy. Can't see it myself. But, hm, maybe we should do some market research.

*time passes*

So this market research we did? Apparently blokes quite like the leg bit. It's just the end of the tights they don't like.

So - hey - I've got a great idea. Let's produce tights without the ugly bit at the end.

*facepalm*

Catherine Townsend is the Independent's sex columnist. A couple of years ago she wrote this column in which "I was rocking a gold minidress, worn with footless tights".

Oddly enough, in the next paragraph, "I could sense that I wasn't going to be getting lucky the minute he ran his eyes up and down my outfit".

No kidding. You turn up looking like a cross between Metal Mickey and an extra from Fame and funnily enough, footless has turned into fuckless. Footless and fancy-free? You're dead right.
(Guy Debord cette mauvaise réputation..., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 22:11, 3 replies)

Xbox 360
That's right, I went there.

I don't own any of the next generation consoles but I've played with them heaps and I've gotta say, why do people love the 360 so much? OK, some of the better games like Left 4 Dead aren't available on PS3, but the 360 is worringly noisy, it's prone to the Red Ring of Death, the controllers require AA batteries rather than the inbuilt batteries inside PS3 and Wii controllers, it's get incredibly hot after a few hours and it's chronic for scratching your discs.

Don't see the appeal at all, except maybe for the pricetag.
(ElGranto, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:42, 24 replies)

Criticism of Rafa Benitez.
It seems quite fashionable to call the man an inept clown but I have to say he is the best thing to happen to Manchester United in years.
(Tugnut I got them all..., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:37, 2 replies)

The Doors.
Lyrics an emotionally crippled, fourteen year old, suburban halfwit would be ashamed of - and the fact that people call the "lizard king' a poet is beyond me.

Liar.
Mire.
Fire.
Dire.

'Like a dog without a bone...'

Dear God - makes the Gallagher brothers sound like Keats and Marlowe.

Shit tunes too.
(Tugnut I got them all..., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:24, 6 replies)

Some of the few...
As I'm a techy sort, I'll start the with the obvious.

PC vs Mac vs Linux, and the associated ragging.

If it works for you, then fine, use it. What I don't want to hear is how your particular choice is the best that ever was, and what ever will be. The sun does not shine out of Gates', Jobs', or Torvalds' arses. Just because you're enjoying the feeling of the balls of your chosen God slapping against your chin, then it doesn't mean that I want my turn. Windows works for me, it doesn't for others. I don't preach about how great Windows is, yet others around me take the word "Windows" to be the starting pistol for a massive fanboy attack, proclaiming everything else to be shit, and offering the previous conversationalists a turn at some major-league ball licking. Fuck off with your fanboyism, it's childish, and plainly fucking annoying.

Twilight.
Just... Plain... SHIT. I actually sat down and read the books to formulate my opinion on how utterly shit it is. Trashy romance for the new teens.

Edward (of Twilight): NOT A FUCKING VAMPIRE. As others mentioned, vampires suck red stuff out of necks, are bad, and explode or otherwise die in sunlight. They don't turn into a fucking Swarovsky display. Edward is a METAPHOR for how mysterious and feral boys appear to be to 15 year olds going through puberty. The writer herself admitted that making him a vampire was easy, and a sure-fire ticket to sell a metric fuckton of books (Ok, not her words, but the same effect) to today's "OMFG OCCULT SOUNDING STUFF IST KOOL, JA?" and emo fuckwits.

Rest are going to be quick.
PS3 fanboys, 360 fanboys, any fanboys. Star Wars, Star Trek, modifing cars. Watercooling freaks. Overclocking, MPs expense rowers. Newspapers. Talentless hacks being given way too much public outcry after doing essentially fuck all for anyone (I'm looking right the fuck at you Goody). Overreaction to celebrity death.

Christ, I could go on forever.

Oh there's another big one... RELIGION

Length? This was the tl;dr version, ye cheeky scroat
(Nalr I'll get the coals, you bring the burgers., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:58, 4 replies)

Paedophelia.
Why bother? Their little cocks wouldn't even touch the sides.
(Tugnut I got them all..., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:56, Reply)

with facebook fuckwits,,,
...who wish their kid happy birthday/tell them to get well soon/tell them theyre proud of their achievements via facebook. When the kid is 5. I swear to god, at least 4/5 posts a day from my facebook "friends" are this sort of drivel.

honestly, does your little scrote actually use facebook at the age of 5? Do they fuck.
(Singo69, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:55, 4 replies)

my life
i don't know why i put up with it.
(Discreditor wants the dream to come true, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:53, 4 replies)

Tattoos
or more to the point, people that think they're individuals because the have a tribal tattoo on their arms, or a fucking tramp stamp across their arse.

You're not an individual! Every cunt on the planet seems to have fucking tattoo - and I DON'T want to fucking see it - it's no cunting different to your mates one that you probably got on holiday in Thailand together because you can't get a shag at home.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:40, 1 reply)

Dubstep
Drum n Bass's inbred cousin
(Lord Chode, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:16, 1 reply)

Science
I'm not an idiot. I have A levels and a degree. I'm interested in science. I know about electromagnetism, subatomic particles and I'm not totally ignorant of the theory of relativity.

One thing I just can't get my head around, though, is gravity. How does it work? Why do massive objects appear to influence eachother over vast distances? Is it a force? In short, I simply don't understand the attraction.

Edit: maybe bindun? Sorry if so.
( Scrumper, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:03, Reply)

Autotune
It's fake tan for pallid, sickly voices, makes your singing sound bright orange.
( itchinbowow, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:50, 1 reply)

Genetic voting by morons.
Those sad sacks who come out with shite like 'my Grandad voted X all his life, my old man votes X and so do I'.
Cockends, the lot of 'em...
(Billy The Fish wants to gargle with Lucy Pinder's bath water, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:40, 1 reply)

Whilst shopping down town last night
I was knocked over by a guy in a gorilla suit, he was running up the road in a pair of stilettos. However, I only figured out about the stilettos after he hit me and left me ass-backward, sprawled in the gutter. I knew the type of shoewear he was in from from the clack, clack, clack sounds as he ran off, because from the way I landed - I just couldn't see the ape heel.
(uk_viper stopped lurking on, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 18:48, Reply)

RnB
What, so racist sexist music is ok if the singer is black?

fuckoff, cunt
( zulu eh?, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 18:46, 2 replies)