Mr Porky
Me and my son went to the garage and picked up a bag of pork scratchings each. We proudly carried home our bags of porky goodness, but imagine my son's surprise when he sat on the sofa and pulled out not a rind of salty juicey crackling, but what looked like a roast pig's ear.

He bravely had a nibble before conceding that it tasted like shit, and put it back in the bag. Thinking he might be being a bit mard, I had a nibble and it was indeed shit.

Popped it back in the bag, into a jiffy, and sent it back to the manufacturers.

4 weeks passed, and I received a very apologetic letter, and a postal order for 5 briton pounds. The postal order was a bastard to cash (post office queues and all that), but I guess you need to cater for all your customers when your main product is dead pig.

I did also mention in my letter that rinds are not as hairy as they used to be, but I did not get a reply on that matter. Still, a fiver is a fiver!

This was my first and only time I complained.

Mrs. Piper A makes a living out of complaining. My favourite was when she wrote to Lucozade highlighting that as they make an energy drink and the consumer may be devoid of fuel, they shouldn't fasten the bottle tops on so fucking tight. Result! - 20 quid voucher for sugary pop!
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Fri 3 Sep 2010, 22:43, 1 reply)

That made me laugh

(Juan - King of Donkeys shut the fuck up on, Sat 4 Sep 2010, 0:30, closed)