Valentines day
Around 1995 I celebrated valentines day with my fragrant then-girlfriend at an Indian restaurant in Leyton. "You won't overeat will you, Browser?" she said to her then boyfriend, who was beginning to look like Falstaff.

"Certainly not!" I replied with a wink, anticipating a good two or three minutes of intercourse some time later that night.
The restaurant was full of bored couples sitting in silence. My partner ordered a chicken curry and rice.
I ordered a "non vegetarian Leyton Thali special, and two extra naan breads". When it arrived it consisted of about 14 different curries, an array of samosas and breads, condiments and other tidbits. It was bad enough that my dinner had to be brought on its own trolley, covering 4 shelves, and that this trolley was pulled over to our table by four waiters, but what really set off was the lit sparkler sticking out of the pile of naans, and the fact that before the waiters left me to get on with it, they smiled and clapped.

Needless to say, I had the last laugh as I ate the lot, had an icecream on the way home, and farted myself into a blissful sexless curry sleep.

Now let me read about the boy who ate too many chips and cried. And also, could someone please post the picture of the balcony and the croissant in the replies, cos I can't find it. x
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:32, 5 replies)

Oh man, that story about the boy in Harvesters is the best thing I've ever read.
Nice story btw.
(TheColonel, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 15:24, closed)

!
Yes that chips story made me laugh for 2 days.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 16:18, closed)

indulge a poor lazy technospaz
and point out where this tale is please?
I have nothing to do at work but wait for the post...
(jennymnemonic, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 16:31, closed)

The abridged version is below. It's a little more succinct than the original but still good.
b3ta.com/questions/goingtoofar/post65420
(TheColonel, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 17:57, closed)

You calling me fat?

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 20:58, closed)