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This is a question Hotel Splendido

Enzyme writes, "what about awful hotels, B&Bs, or friends' houses where you've had no choice but to stay the night?"

What, the place in Oxford that had the mattresses encased in plastic (crinkly noises all night), the place in Blackpool where the night manager would drum to the music on his ipod on the corridor walls as he did his rounds, or the place in Lancaster where the two single beds(!) collapsed through metal fatigue?

Add your crappy hotel experiences to our list.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 16:05)
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stayed at the waldorf
in london about 2 years ago. sitting in the restaurant, we decided to go off-piste on the menu (because we were crazy like that) and order a waldorf salad.

the (ubiquitous non english speaking eastern european) waiter didn't understand. he had never heard of a waldorf salad. eventually we dinned it into him. and he toddled off to tell the chef.

2 mins later he was back. the (probably ubiquitous non english speaking eastern european) chef had never heard of it either...
(, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 19:22, 9 replies)
Was his name "Basil"?
I think I saw you on an episode of "Fawlty Towers".
(, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 19:46, closed)
ha ha
i'd forgotten about that episode!

but we did get one in the end. and it was very good. which i suppose makes my post completely irrelevant.

meh.
(, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 19:48, closed)
!!
celery...apples...walnuts....grapes!!!

In Mayonnaise!!!

hehehehee, was your waiter called Manuel?
(, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 0:22, closed)
no
he was called piotr or something.

but i think he had trained with manuel.

fortunately the bar staff knew their way around the cocktail menu with much more expertise. mmmm. kir royale...
(, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 14:25, closed)
Kir Royale?
You sophisticate, you :o)

I love Kir Royale, me.
(, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 16:00, closed)
Pffft
I was in a hotel bar in London once and asked for a Bloody Mary. "I'm sorry sir, we don't do cocktails" replied the barman, so I asked for a vodka and tomato juice instead, whereupon he said "Certainly - would you like Worcester sauce in it?"

=)
(, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 17:14, closed)
Rachealswipe dear....
I must meet you so we can swap proletariat jokes and find out if any of my people know your people. *smile*

By the way, I think the Resident Loon is stalking you.
(, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 20:08, closed)
*blink*
Stalking? STALKING?!?

*pout* Just because I like the girl a lot based on her posts and the times she's been good enough to message me through gaz...

*goes off to light another candle beneath rachelswipe's picture*
(, Sat 19 Jan 2008, 23:18, closed)
hahahaha!
I had a works Crimbo party at the Waldorf a few years back.

They neglected to tell us that the free bar didn't open until about an hour after we got there, and some poor sod ended doing £30 for four drinks.

And the food was appalling.

And I didn't cop off with the girl I fancied at the time.

Waldorf? Arsedorf more like.
(, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 9:15, closed)

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