James Bond's employee of the month
1990 or thereabouts. I worked for the Royal Bank of Scotland.

I saw the man first. He walked into the branch, clad in a camouflage jacket, his head freshly shaved apart from a tuft at the back which he had missed. And sure enough, he walked over to my till position.

“Can I draw some money out?” he asked. I reached for a withdrawal slip and asked if he knew his account number. He didn’t. I asked for his name, and when I checked he had no account at the branch. I asked if he had an account at a different branch but he did not. So, I told him that he could not draw any money out. In a flash, he asked to speak to the manager.

The manager was a lovely bloke, close to retirement and always immaculately dressed (as an aside I saw him one weekend and he was still wearing a suit, although he had abandoned his tie in favour of a cravat). I asked him if he would be prepared to speak to the lunatic at my till and, after I explained the story, he said that he would.

“Alright, chief,” the lunatic began. “I’d like to draw some money out.”

“How much would you like?” asked the manager.

“A cool million,” came the reply.

“You don’t have an account though, do you?” said the manager.

The man shook his head. “Well, I’ve got one at the post office.”

“And how much do you have in there?”

“Twenty-eight pence.”

The manager just shook his head. “No. I can’t help you,” he said.

“Can I have a loan then?”

“You can apply for one.” He handed the man a form. “Who do you work for?”

“James Bond,” the man replied. Everybody in the banking hall giggled.

“No,” said the manager. “I’m sorry.”

Surprisingly chirpily the man turned away and with a friendly “oh well, thanks anyway” he walked through the banking hall, took our foreign exchange rates board, put it under his arm, and walked out of the door, abandoning the board in the middle of the A56, as we discovered when a confused-looking customer carried it in a few minutes later.
(nasalhair The Twix guy!, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 14:36, 1 reply)

I don't
know why, but this really made me giggle imagining it happening in the middle of my local bank.
(dchurch bah, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 15:15, closed)