Video shops attract idiots
An example of idiots and video shops is when newspapers have free dvd giveaways redeemable at your local video shop. We'd get these boxes delivered of some shitty 50's film nobody had ever heard of and have to give them out whenever somebody had a voucher from the paper. This was not a never ending tardis for free films. At the start of the shift we'd get people queing outside the shop. A few would even try to get in when you opened the shutters until you pointed out that you don't open for another hour. As soon as we'd open there'd be a mad rush of cheapskate wierdos after a free film they'd probably never heard of. But the worst was the people who'd come at the end of the shift. The look of total fear on their face when told we'd ran out was priceless. I even had a guy demand we gave him a free dvd of his choice because he had a voucher and it wasn't his fault we'd given them all away. He wasn't in the shop for much longer.

We had another guy who we were sure had never showered in his entire life. He'd wear the same stained John Smiths fleece every day and thought we were his friend. Other customers would walk down an isle, catch a whiff and then make the best faces we'd ever seen whilst turning heel and getting away from him. We'd always be on the lookout for these reactions and it never got old. The worst time was when I was on the door (we'd need someone on the door to keep out the gangs who'd barge into the shop and take every packet of sweets we had) and I let this guy in with his nephew. His nephew (looked inbred) went off into the shop to choose his games, but the smelly fella stayed by the door. By me. For half a fooking hour! In this half hour of incredible stench I'm pretty sure I was close to passing out at least thrice and my nostrils are yet to recover. I also found out that he "doesn't know why, but when it rains he itches". All the while the other lads on the shift don't even try to contain their laughter and even share a few laughs with the regulars at my expense. As soon as he left I took a massive break to regain my will to live.

But I suppose we were possibly the staff from hell. It was me and my mates who ran this shop and thus, the rules were never taken seriously. My mate would sneak up behind a regular deaf customer, fart and run away leaving the poor fella in an invisable cloud of smell. We'd also shout things to this guy and put phrases like 'Lick my balls?' into conversation with him. Good times.

Edit: for a few weeks we also (unintentionally) confused a few groups of foreigners who, probably attracted by the bright blue and yellow lights, thought we were a bar. The looks on their faces when they actually dance throught the door and they could only see dvds and no alcohol was brilliant. Only happened twice. I a month.
(Visionaryofthe1980s www.myspace.com/visionariesofthe1980s, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 2:13, Reply)