eBay prick
This happened a couple of months back and I'm sure I posted it on a Qotw a few months back too. Ah well.

I went through a phase of selling a few small items on eBay (still am at the mo) and I also do these time-draining referral schemes online to get a free games console (I'm not going to bore you with the details, see my profile if you are bi-curious).
One idea I had was to stick all the referral details onto an eBay sales, stating all the information about it and advising not to buy the item as I was not selling one. This worked for a few days reeling in more people signing up and hence I was rejoiceful. However...
One guy on eBay tries to buy the item which I was not selling for 1p. At the end of the 7 days the sale is up and I get a polite message saying "When do I get my free Xbox?"
I reply with "As it is clearly stated in the article, follow the instructions provided and you get the Xbox360; I do not provide you anything other than the link."
"I DIDN'T PAY FOR THAT, GIVE ME MY XBOX!"
"No, as I've already said, follow the instructions and take it from there."
"If you don't send me it, I'm going to report you to eBay."
"Go on then." Ohhhh, like that actually means something to me ffs.
So sure enough, the next day I get a message from eBay asking me not to post anything like that again and I reply back with an apology. I then get another message from this cock-end saying "Hahaha, now where's my fucking Xbox?"
Hmmmm, I'm getting a bit pissed now.
Right, what's this guy's username? Ok, it's something odd *copies to clipboard*, *crtl and n to bring up another browser window*, *goes to google*, *pastes username in*, *clicks search*. Ohhhhh, only registered on 3 forums to do with getting free mobile stuff in the UK eh? I have a quick glance on the forum and lo and behold, he's hassling someone for a freebie on there too. Except this time he's got a profile filled in...not with his real name, but of his job and hometown. That's all I need thinks I.
Back to eBay and I send my custom reply. Seems to do the trick as I never get another response again. He was according to the forum a 22 year old baker from Banbury, so I sent him "Why don't you just calm down and bake a cake?". The prick must've shit himself.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 16:59, Reply)