The miniature wall of DOOM
After a long night of drinking and a short kebab house queue, myself and two mates were making our way home. Amidst the munching of chips and mystery meat, A suggests a quick shortcut through the graveyard, even in my drunken state I knew it wasn't a shortcut, moreover a long detour, "It's an adventure" proclaims he, and we remaining two follow him.

It'd only been a small walk into the dense foliage before I realised it was dark, really, really, dark. We'd managed to form a walking group, which helped navigation, but this was more to keep each other upright as we walked along than anything else.

At this point my version of the story differs from the story of our third member D, he maintains that he warned me a number of times of an impending obstacle. My own version simply involves me walking along with nary a worry, walking into something and going down, hard & fast (fnar), and trying valiantly in vain to preserve my chips and burger.

Despite howling with laughter, my mates helped me up (eventually) and we carried on on our way, escaped the dark graveyard and got home.

I walked past the graveyard a few days later, and in the colder light of day I saw where I'd had the mishap. Turns out I'd been lucky to only lose some artery clogging food, because in the dark I'd fallen onto a grave and missed any number of death-by-head-injury bits of stone around it.

Whenever this story is regaled by my mate D, I am invariably doing some sort of amazing backflip into a freshly dug grave. But that's creative license for you.

The more cringeworthy part of this episode was that I'd managed to inadvertently dump chips and burger over a grave the night before rememberance sunday. I remain hopeful that I didn't desecrate some Generals final plot.
(ShiftyBastard won the World Cup on World Soccer Champs 2010!, Fri 24 Jul 2009, 11:45, Reply)