Technique
While not exactly fatal, this story is still a favorite at pubs and the source of my only visible scar.

To set the scene, TheManWhoWas 19 at the time, trying to impress a cute girl, going to a local spring with her and a mutual friend for some swimming and drinking. Good times all around, gorgeous location, great conversation, all that jazz.

Then someone noticed the rope swing.

TheManWhoWas had never been on a rope swing, mind you, but this wasn't about to get in the way of impressing said cute girl. So off I go, get in line, grab the knotted rope and leap!

Now, I'm not sure if you all are aware of this, but there is a good and a bad technique for rope swinging. Good technique (with a knotted rope) involves grabbing a knot firmly with both hands, lifting your legs off the ground with perhaps a slight kick to get your momentum going, and then letting go when you are over the water. Pretty elementary.

Bad technique involves grabbing just above the knot, then leaping into the void, putting all of your (not insubstantial) weight on your hands, having your hands slip down the knotted rope, twisting your fingers painfully and belly-flopping into the water with cute girl watching and laughing.

Bad technique also involves noticing pain in your fingers, assuming they're dislocated, then promptly popping them to more pain.

What's better is that because of the previously mentioned cute girl and mocking friend, I ended up staying at the spring, painfully grasping beer cans, having dinner and being made fun of for yelping in pain when using a fork, going to a concert and trying not to grimace too badly when shaking people's hands, and then going to bed.

The next day I woke up with fingers black with pooled blood.

One much-postponed hospital visit, two half-arm casts, five weeks with one usable hand and over $10,000 in reconstructive surgery for matching spiral fractures in both ring fingers later, I'm left with a three screws, a wicked scar, a funny story and a new-found phobia of rope swings.

The funny part? I ended up still getting the girl. Nothing like a cute new girlfriend when you have only partial use of both hands!

Apologies for length, etc.
(TheManWhoWas SlightlyKnackered, Fri 13 Feb 2009, 21:36, 1 reply)

*click*
For irony in penultimate line
(ZoFreX is cleaner than smoked trout, Sat 14 Feb 2009, 6:10, closed)